Monday, October 08, 2007
of openings & sparks
The sudden twist of heart to seemingly pen down all thoughts that fly through this eccentric brain, has been re-ignited suddenly. Was it the extreme gush of wind, mind blowing & whirl wheeling lanes of air, or the excessive force of throttling Rose in the redness of night, that cooled the hot balloon headed me of late ?
Needless to say that an extra surplus of activities has gone by without me hitching it into cyberspace. Huge and gargantous volumes of events have passed and slipped by, not to mention the more enormous baggage of social and emotional learning it has left behind. & yet, the current situation seems as though nothing has gone wrong ....yet!
People notice when things could go wrong. Especially people who are dearest around us. The provide us with timely reminders, reminders of change. Reminders are normal, be them gentle or eitherwise. Winds of change(s) is also normal. I need to recall these constantly so as not to be cramped by 4 walls, the ceiling and the flooring.
---------I came across a saying somewhere that goes,
"It is not life if nothing goes wrong." I just have to take every single learning in my stride, momentously that is. In all the gloominess that was surrounding me at that moment, came a request for my life quote. Be it original or adopted, I had to come up with my life quote. I thought hard and long and almost missed the stipulated timeline I had been given. Various and numerous quotes un-zipped in my mind and I toyyed around with quite a few... until it hit me that I had actually been living off my own life quote that I had not come to realised.
"Endure the sufferings for the best is yet to come"The notion that the best is yet to come has probably pushed me, made me perservere willingly (& in some cases un-willingly) that no matter what circumstances I am under, I should always push for my best and live life to the most.
---------& some how, no matter how strong a front I display to the world, it all comes crumbling to pieces like bits of cookies when matters are brought closest to heart; the home. I just have to live up to my billing, it seems. & that is just the trouble. For when I dissapoint, plentiful matters are brought up and I just tumble like old building blocks.
I am trying my best & suffice to say, my actions of recent weeks are all good in nature. Good in nature of my thoughts doesnt always transcend into good percievable actions. For I have mentioned it before and shall reiterate it once more. For sometimes it is just best to say nothing at all. Strange uh, how keeping mum with minimal actions of distraction can still cause conflict.
---------All these some say are just tests, especially in this holy month. Im seeking to pass this turbulent and trying testing period of mine. Makes little wonder how I have yet been able to fully capture the wonders of the holy month, let alone be prepared for the joyous festivities of new moon.
Orange...I will go orange then, & try and soak up what ever is left of this month so as to squeeze the juices out the next.
Eid Mubarak 1428 all ;)
when darkness turns to light @ 3:54 am
