it ends tonight,

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Conversations on a bike

A spur of people have recently asked me, or rather, spoke to me of a certain phrase. The more closer ones would actually know why I really am doing it. Let me say it out now;- Cause it is just 1 way of dividing my attention, & "trying" not to think of a problem.

It goes something like, "Why are you working so hard? Save duit nak kawin ke?"

Normally I would be able to just brush it off but this time...
I answered the normal yup...nak kawin cheekily padahal duit nak kawin da siap. Yet this time, my heart was shouting so loud. "Memang niat begitu. Nak save duit, nak kawin, nak finally show her...that her efforts were not in vain." & I started to tear slowly, maybe cause it was the 4am breeze, or maybe cause the conversation led me to saying, "Kalau jodoh tak ke mana."

I felt so sad. Riding my bike at 4am & conversing about...
That time btw, when I started working like crazy, the 25K wasn't there.

when darkness turns to light @ 4:59 am