it ends tonight,

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Silent in Oblivion

There is a very STARK difference between hope & expectation. A valuable lesson I'm under going at this vey moment. But what I'm going through is of course something very different to what the whole nation is expecting & quietly hoping for right now.

Hope is defined as;
- to cherish a desire with anticipation
The type of hope which, at least, I think is good cause thats what all I have. Thats all I'm holding to on now. This past week has been all about hope. But beware that hope doesn't lead to something else, as hope is also defined as;
- to desire with expectation of obtainment

Now what does expectation mean. Its already a symptom. A very bad one which all leads, points & shows to un-finished business. By the way expectation is defined as;
- the state or act of anticipation

Both are acts of anticipation. Hope brings miracles. Expectations brings misery. From what I have percieved - hope is good, healthy even. Expectations on the other hand is essentially good, but it can kill! Especially relationships & friendships.

So u all know whats killing me eiy. =(
Please let it just be hope. Don't let me suffer in silence, in oblivion. Don't allow me to ramble on in cyberspace.

This past whole week, I've just been losing myself in alot of songs, to the extent of drowning even. Some wonderful lyrics just tend to make me stone. And if it wasn't for the environment & situation, I certainly would have drowned if not for restraining my emotions.

On a lighter note, my right knee feels like its going to let go any minute now. My right hip feels like its going to pop out again....any minute now. Only my shoulder seems the strongest. I can even do pull ups again. 8!! But still no running unless I purposely want to land in hospital with a dislocated hip & torn knee ligament again.

I really miss you alot.

when darkness turns to light @ 5:58 pm