it ends tonight,

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

My emotions seem to be running wilder & wilder by the day. As much as it is burning my ballistic ego, I am on my knees running with more emotions then I can handle. I thought I could restrain it all. Yet it pours like how the river ganges flows. Its pours now more so often then before, so much more then I can restrain. Ive broken down to the ends of my limit.

My past has been haunting me, reflashing in front of my eyes. Its not in the head. Its really happening right in front of my eyes. I meet soooooooo soooooo many people from my past now. Is it just me ? Is it just the timing ? Why now...of all times. If it was when I was stronger, I'm sure it would not affect me at all, but now i tear like nobody's business, finally.

I thought swimming would rid me of my troubles, it just got me more wet instead. Wetter inside then outside. Controlled as much as I could, but it showed judging from the responses. This is now the man who can no longer try to fake a smile. Its too damn tiring already. Even if I were able to muster a smile, the heartwrenches. For my heart hasn't smile for a long, long time already

when darkness turns to light @ 4:14 am