it ends tonight,

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Brain waves speeding away

I had lunch in Gelang Patah today. Just off Tanjung pelepas. The type of restaurant above the sea. Cool view uh.

The people I went today made me go into deep deep thoughts again. Sigh. Wonder when or if it will ever stop.

I went with kura-kura, his parents and his dad's bunch of old people ;P haha. I was the youngest. Walauwe. All the old couples still look jovial & lovable after so many years. Just made me wonder...if I would have a life like that. If she would be beside me in the years to come. I dont understand why my brain cant just switch off & move on.

Going back home, gave the reason of helping kura-kura 'remove his carbon' from his bike. Padahal padahal. I sped. Though not as fast as previously, but it was a shorter straight. I still hit 230kmh & i was reeling in the pain. Speed is really an easy way to try to lose everything. The fear, the feelings of the balls at the throat, the psychological barriers that go with speeding all helped me lose my sadness, for a while. Just briefly enough for me to concentrate on the road thats whizzing past at 200kmh.

Damn it la. Why is it really so hard letting go. I want peace. I want peace with her ;( Guess thats not going to happen, anytime soon. I think. I really still am just holding on to a promise, and a big big HOPE.

Carry me away guardian angel. Don't let the storm clouds reside longer. Those storm clouds...ARGH!!

Excuse me while my heart screams out loud. Period.

when darkness turns to light @ 9:33 pm