Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Drive...
I sent my sister to school today. Made me kinda miss school atmosphere, not. Heh..well I saw a lo tof things that made me reminiscent again. Mainly all the young couples going to school together. aww so sweet. Made me remember my JC sweetheart.
Wait a minute! I didnt have a JC sweetheart. Didn't even to to JC. Haha well you get the idea.
Something different was in my mind today when my brain was in flashback mode. I started to think about this blog. The name more specifically. What if...I really do move on. Haha thats a joke :P What would happen to the name of this blog. Death-of-a-desire.
The name spells out clearly what this space online is all about. I'm pretty sure though that my lovely thing call 'desire' wont lie on a deathbed when I move on. Cause when I move on, eventually, ermmm...wait. Let me rephrase.
For me to move on, theres certainly a need to have desire. Desiring for partnership, for companionship, someone to share things with, someone to pamper, somone to spend free time with, not to mention the one whos going to be the light in lonely times & of course someone to understand my inner self that FYI I'm still tryin to understand.
Now when all these desires grow & build up, what will I to do. I will have no more things to write in here & all you fans will be dissapointed that the soap opera has ended.
I can ...start a new blog cause I'll be so called starting a new life. Then I have to think of a new name. Link it up to my life & start everything from scratch. Then all the itsy bitsy mushy stuffy stuff will be all over the place. Eugh* don't think you peeps, nor I want that. Cause think I'll be getting a lot of hate mail & i'll lose my ever growing horde of female fanatics.
I can ...think of closing down the blog. Yah close down the blog. Good idea uh. Thats why the blog was started in the first place, cause my desire died. But must I let my great & wonderful 'thing' thats slowly improving die as well. Must I let my writing skills go down the drain ;P Why cant I continue to write and let the Cambridge lecturers read this & finally change my C5 grade. Neh, thats not the whole point. I should close down the blog if my desire were to be ressurected. right ?
I can ...ah heck, why go through to much trouble...Just bury the damn desire. So I dont have to move on or change things :(
Guess thats me now. All my desires are buried 6 feet down under. So I'm really wondering as I drove back home. Do I really want to move on. Is it really that easy for me to start anew ? Is it really that easy to forget a lost love. The last time round, it took me several rebound dates...hours & hours of chatting. Working like a mad horse delivering Pizza then splurging away on games & lepak. I even got enlisted through out that time. Used my energy to the max in my prep course days. That was of course, until...
Is it really that easy ?
when darkness turns to light @ 8:50 am
