Sunday, May 07, 2006
Got head ?
My brain waves have sped off. I seem to be having a hard time putting pen to paper, or rather my thoughts on the net. I always speak to myself now at all the wrong timings. Something is definietly very, very wrong.
My brain now is in a blurry cloud of grey. Nothings seems to stay in it for long. 1 thing that I remember though was taking a surreal ride along the paths that was very familiar. It was strange fending off the urges to just past by & take a peek. A peek onto the place that I knew so so well the past 3 years. I knew though that I would be hurting more if I had done it.
Spent saturday night rotting at home. Stayed awaked long enought to watch the 'once in 5years political scene' in singapore. No real surprises there, maybe just some percentage problems for the government here & there. No other problems elsewhere. While watching the only thing on telly yest, I was wondering what I was doing at home. By some strange forces of nature, all that I had contacted were either busy, busy or busy. Dang! Timing, its all about timing. Something which I have yet to master;- or even comprehend at the moment.
This big question mark is lurking & ever growing at the back of my mind.
Is it just me...?Its always very easy to pinpoint others, push the blame to others & or simply put never burden the faults ourselves. So that makes the question ever so HUGE for me. I can easily try to say that others are not co-operative, not wanting to help me...this & that. I am past that immature age, I think. I have slowly look back & reflected upon all the consequences where I had been immature. Thinking
what if. I know for a fact that too many of these ifs is really unhealthy but its such a ninggling thing in my head. You know like 1 of those things that you would shake & shake inside a tin can but it never want to pop out. Arh...that type of feeling!
Now excuse me while I cut this tin can head of mine.
when darkness turns to light @ 1:22 pm
