Saturday, June 24, 2006
the game
After all the energy you put into someone, letting them go is tough. But it's right.
Thats what I'm supposed to do based on some people's analogy. Well lets not say some, its almost everyones' analogy of my current situation. Bleargh.
With all due respect to circumstances, the waiting game doesnt respect anyone. Period.
I told you before that I'm learning to be patient again. Well I'm going through turbulent times now. Real hurricane of a test, with all the swirling of emotions and twirling of time. Its really putting my patience to a huge test this waiting game.
Almost all my life, I've been playing this waiting game. Waiting for this, waiting for that. Its not just an emotional thing, its physical as well. I would wait and wait, tap and tap, in sync with time, oblivion through the stares of the passerby's if any, and I would just continue waiting some more.
Bak pepatah orang melayu baru, 'Tunggu tungu punya tunggu macam buah tak jatuh.'
Not sure why but I am starting to resent waiting actually. Maybe cause I hear and find out too many things when I am waiting. Its as though I am waiting like a stupid fool. Hell, I can play 4 to 5 waiting games with the same number of people at the same time and yet I still end up the loser on all corners.
They say that I should stop waiting and pick yourself up. Cause when you want something done right, its best you get it done yourself. Question is can I get it done when I am not waiting ??
The ball is not in my court. The ball has almost always been in the other court. I am justwaiting for my chance. For that one glimmer of hope, that smallest chance that it would rebound into my court, so I can take it and run away with it. Run like nobody's damn business. Oblivion to it all.
So waiting game...what have you in store for me today ?
when darkness turns to light @ 7:55 pm
