Thursday, June 01, 2006
of hurdles and choking
I always end up tripping on the first hurdle don't I.And with a start of a new month, a new post to say it out loud. I thought for once I could move over to another quietly, though wanting so much to bang with results. Thinking it seems doesn't always come hand in hand with results. Or rather events that happen. It always seem to be way out of our control but is it really ?
Are the events in our life really out of our control ? Issit really ?
Its because I
chose to be online today. I
chose to click on your nick when you popped up. I
chose to fill up the message box. I
chose to send said message.
I chose.
So its none so much surprising that the events that occured soon after really happened. I made it happen. It was all down to me. June, I thought, would start nicely but alas it had to go the sad way. A sad start. An emotional start as always.
Always I had percieved myself to be a choker. Someone who just couldn't perform at the last instance. Someone that couldn't last that extra last mile. Somone that would trip at the last hurdle to success. Today I realised that I fare badly in starts as well. I tripped on the first hurdle. I know I would go on to be better. I'd go on to get better things as normal. Just at the brims of 'success,' I'd just have to be wary of the last hurdle. For I've seen it flash many times in my life already, how I screw things I painstakingly built. For I choke. In the last lap, I always choke and under-perform.
Today's event are none so different. Tripping on the first instance. Only to pick myself up very optimistically in hoping for the best things later in the day. Yah, something good came out today, that though was already expected and was actually behind schedule. The rest of the day ?
Tiredlessly spent waiting.
No promises.So that sums up a positively good month ahead ?? So full of activities this month. Yet why does it start on this note. So so low this tenor, this low key note.
when darkness turns to light @ 9:14 pm
