Tuesday, July 11, 2006
what if
...if it wasnt meant to be, it wasnt meant to be...I think I'm remembering the old me. The teenager me. The short, unpopular, ridiculed, pimpled infested, often teased at, chubby lil kid of me. The one who said next faster then you could think...I think. Haha.
Life is always about moving on. Though back then I lacked whatever 'things' I have now, I made up for it with a zestful spirit that just moved on. I wasnt very emotional back then. Maybe cause I didnt have any emotional people to fall back on. Some how I zombified my way through 4 years of secondary life without much emotions, till the big 'O's were due. Everyone suddenly gelled up together and fostered closer bonds. I started from then to have friends that I could pour out emotionally. And from there, with time, the list just grew.
1 thing that definietly adds up is, when you're emotionally more stable, somehow you just achieve more. Thats what I realise.
But with all the emotions that I was learning to handle, also came the downsides. The start of the emotional rollercoaster ride also began somewhere around that time of my life. Weird uh, how you can achieve more yet also be troubled more.
Presently, I so want to get back to my young and teenage years. To be able to move on quickly and nimbly. To just say next to every rejection that I face.
The light that was once so bright that was leading me to standing straight is now a fade distant away. It still shimmers once in a while but Im not too hopeful anymore. I'm starting to realise this that sometimes you just gotta enjoy whatever that comes in your path and not ponder on it too much.
Maybe now the balance of emotions is shifting again. Maybe its finally going to be stable ?
...if it wasnt meant to be, it wasnt meant to be...
when darkness turns to light @ 5:03 pm
