it ends tonight,

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Shitty feeling

The same shitty feeling as per norm.

Gee! I thought I was going to have this type of feeling only once. It happened as my then ORD date was approaching fast. I was having a love-hate feeling to go to work. Having hatred towards the actual work that I do. A very fuck typed couldnt care less attitude that I brought to duty everytime. The thing was I actually enjoyed the company back then. The close comeraderie, the esprit de corps.

Now its the same. Having been retrenched, yet forced to serve out till the end of the month. It really is a shitty feeling you know. Coming to work but your mind is elsewhere. It would have been easier if I was the one who chose to leave, instead of being forced out the door.

I really am not living up to my responsibilites at work. Fark la.

This is feeling much like a relationship thats in tatters. Do you just have a couldnt care less attitude and go about doing things until they finally die off ? Or do you try means and ways to please the other half, take care of all the fine china thats around even though you know its going to come to an end very soon ?

Oh I felt both of those when I was about to ORD last year. Now I am lucky that I dont have relationship issue. Bah! Who I am I kidding right =/

when darkness turns to light @ 10:09 pm