Monday, September 18, 2006
anxious waiting and thoughts
Okay this is kind of sucky.
I woke up damn early(whats new) and with my mind still shrouded with clouds of options and thoughts. I was 75% bent on my choice before I fell asleep on my messy ruckus excuse for a bed. Waking up that 75% hadn't increased the slightest bit and with a few gulps of Peach Tea, I just don't know how I came up to a conclusion.
Many a times I was this close *points to space between thumb and index finger when you squeeze them* to rejecting the 'so called' higher pay to try my luck in administrative duties in an environment which I think I love. Well logic finally took a swat at me and made me realise that its always sweeter when its more concentrated. Does that even make sense ?
I finally made up my mind and I'm sure you can see where its headed. At 9am, still fresh oozing from Lala land, I summed up enough words to email the HR department. Thanking them for their consideration, I would be more then glad to take up the offer in Tuas.
Now...its almost 11am. They have yet to call me back. Arghhhh. now this is sucky. This is making me contemplate again and again. My mum actually thought I went with emotions when she woke up seeing me in a daze manner in front of my PC. I wish I could and had went with emotions, for all the clouds are back spiralling in a twister fashion into my mind.
Why cant it be simple making up ones mind whenever emotions come into play ??
WHY...WHY...WHY!!
I think I will forever be besiged by emotional factors and until I manage to overcome that, my upward exponential growth will hit a ceiling wall, or it would be a cacat kind of growth. Hah.
Oh...Oh...Oh...
Now I am vividly imagining myself travelling to and fro to Tuas EVERYDAY! haha and wondering of all tghe west side ladies I will suddenly add to my handphone contacts. Hah. Why am I thinking of such stuffs.
Maybe its because of a certain sms I recieve just as I hade made my decision and sent my email. In came a sms asking about my eyecandy. =) it made me smile, true but then...
Will the eyecandy just remain an eyecandy ? I have mentioned that she and me are just friends, good enough even for her to always call me 'hey bro' in her sms'. DanG!!! Brotherly type of love. Haha. Oh well, I have learnt too many times that what will be will be. You cant think and expect alot but just have to put in effort and do what necessary. I think I'll do just that, in my own comfortable strides, thank you ;)
So where does this rollercoaster ride end up, we just have to find out.
