Friday, January 12, 2007
days of realisation
It has taken me 12 days to realise something new in my life this year. 12 whole days to simply understand the astonishing fact of reality. On how Ive been in self improvement when I didnt truly realise it. Amazing wonder how it actually had happened and yet I was not truly comprehending the situational change that was circling around and in particular encompassing myself.
I had been disillusioned abit towards the end of last year, when I kept thinking about a certain date. A certain date that brought about a mini debacle of posts within this site. I had also kept thinking about a date which will arrive in a matter of hours. I keep thinking how it has come to this, and also think of how I must prove that I am stronger.
At that very juntion of crossroads, I broke a shell. I shattered the inner most strengths that were bogging me deep withing the sadness walls of depression. It is just 1 wall but yet I have brought it down.
How can I be ascertain on the things upon which I speak...
Simply put that when initially I was heart wrenched by how I felt of
her homecoming, I had also the feeling of Arh Fuck it!!! Zul Cina ask me if I was going to contact her. Ask me many months before this, I would certainly say yes. But now this mellow and learned heart has finally said, if contact is made - contact la, if not I think it will just end like that. For truly, she is someone else's girlfriend now, and I am not going to disturb another man's girl.
So it shall be like that...
Just like that. It isnt hanging. The book is technically closed.
How much of a burden lifter it was when I was able to answer that question in that manner. The confidence that exoudes is just simply majestic. A feeling which I cant explain. Actions will certainly be able to sum it all up maybe ? How Ive been relaxing with the now grown up Lepak boys more and more. We are really bonding it all again.
In an hours time maybe, I will be meeting up with the guys again. Where we would be heading, I still do not know but if tomorrow the sun decides to reveal itself, we will be basking in the glory of fat mid 20 guys tummy at Sentosa. Wohooo.
That is confidence! Ha!
It took me 12 days to realise this confidence level that I am having. Ha!
So see you all on the dancefloor tonight. Lets boogey!
when darkness turns to light @ 8:45 pm
