it ends tonight,

Saturday, April 28, 2007

letting it out momentarily

I aint sure what I truly desire at the moment. Everything inside of me seems to want to let it out. The signals that I do emit though are short burst of frequencies. I dont know who can translate all those signals but 1 things for certain I have yet to do it correctly to the person in mind.

I am just a handful of confused twines that make an oddly shaped ball. I dont know what exactly I want. I dont know how exactly to express what I want. I dont know no shit at the moment. I dont even know if blabbering in cyberspace is the way to go...

What I do know is I dont want to miss out on the oppurtunity to have let it out. When I recollect my thoughts and think of certain situations, I shake my head in disbelief as I had squandered several wonderful chances to let out my inner desires. Now, it may not be the greatest of timing but if I wait any longer, will there be a better timing ??

Its tearing me from withing. Scratching the walls of my rib cage slowly from the insides. Tearing the muscles down with constant blows of anguish. Knocking down this once fully confident man into tatters. I am at a dire crossroad.

This will serve as my testiment to the future then, should anything...good or bad...turn out from what ever it is that I am planning to do. & of course if I ever get to do it. Just picking up the damn phone to dial her number can be such an impossible task. When I did on 2 occassions get the number dialled, I hurriedly scattered to hang the phone up before the ringing began. OH just what is wrong with me!!

:(

when darkness turns to light @ 11:02 pm