Tuesday, July 31, 2007
a small lil outburst
I have come to a point where I can utter not much about myself.
Someone somehow managed to crack and peel off certain outer lying shells of mine and came up with an old description on how she vaguely remembers me. It was very heartening to read out 4 points, 4 good points as I see. Reading out aloud in my brain 4 compliments about ones self can certainly brighten up a bleak evening.
Yet in that same day, many hours earlier, I had been brought to miniature smiles on how I was the central topic of conversation as I had come to find out. Maybe all those little things, did have something good out of 'em. Maybe just maybe, people are starting to notice that the one thing I am always remembered by, is the one little thing where my strength lies.
Only time will tell...
.....Time has told on 1 warmth aspect that I had been seeking. A warmth that I truly have been badly in need of. No matter that it came in a different form. It was warmth. No matter it was not complete. It was warmth. So be it that I had to get half a hug from my pillion. Beggars cant be choosers now. I'll take anything that comes in my path. Period.
.....I have been deprived of REAL talking.
REAL COMMUNICATION.Dont deprive me of a little comfort & warmth.
I need a hug real bad. A HUGE ONE.
when darkness turns to light @ 2:23 am
Monday, July 30, 2007
was I dreaming
I tried my luck yesterday.
...& I fell asleep waiting for a reply.
I waited for 2 replies in fact but neither one came good.
Well I guess thats just the story of my life right now. & I truly wonder why I still look back towards the white lilies. Why do I still reminisce ? That thought just leaves me all awry.
& it is strange how 2 months has passed but yet the white lilies still remain at the bottom of the page as of this entry. It is just totally so strange now.
For I am shy... I am lonely
Monday, July 23, 2007
Delusional
Its been a heck of a 10days. & it seems Im about to do something which I do more often then not nowadays.
*blows off the dust* If I aint careful, cobwebs would start appearing and I must take caution not to let those dreary homes of the spiders to get to my brain.
The brain has taught me a painful & shivering lesson of late. It said,
"NEVER DRINK COKE WHEN YOU'RE SICK!" hahaha. I wonder what deluded me into downing coke when I was still in a half dazed manner with my blood boiling at 38.9 degrees celsius.
Hah. Thats just the only thing that my mind can come up with now. Hah.
Amazing how little my brain can conjure up when I take away all the sappy, weepy and emotional sides of me. Hmm...but hey! Its for the better right ?? ...right ???
Friday, July 13, 2007
from a lower division
The mouse went click click and images flashed through my screening eyes. The memories from all the snapshots are quite crystal clear. The pictures moved around and depicted a jigsaw which I suddenly comprehend.
Shes way out of my league...
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
I sense distortion
Its ironic. It seems futile. & blogging feels much of a chore now.
Periods & Puns not intended.
I have been quiet. By my standards, I feel I have been
VERY VERY quiet. We will see jus how long this last.
& I am so in need of warmth. Just a simple big hug...
Strangely though, I got it last saturday night from the least expected person. An old acquaintance that I bumped into at PS and she just readily stuck her hands out. She was sincere, Im quite certain of it but I need bonded warmth,
a relationship type of warmth. Just one big huge gigantic hug right now.
For suddenly everything is spinning and swirling around in my head,
AGAIN.
when darkness turns to light @ 1:00 pm
