Saturday, August 16, 2008
for it is small now...
I just wished I could type as fast as I could think out aloud right now...
Something just got me thing & I cant exactly pin point what the freaking hell it is...
TRUST is such an under & over-rated word in my life right now... & as much as it seems that this is hanging dirty linen out in the public, it is
NOT. I just cant find a proper avenue to express such a thought(s) or feeling(s). & I truly miss the times that this space was the catalyst to my calmness.
I so so feel that the trust is no longer there. Well maybe it could still be there but I doubt it
BIG TIME. On my part, it certainly was way back in May. Woah...MAY! That certainly feels like an eternity at this juncture. Totally way off in eon terms. I gave my full hearted devotion and trust in it that long ago...& Im still trying to put the pieces to how & why it wasnt totally reciprocated in the first place. & please...I dont need no
SHIT about its not
YOU, nor not
YOUR style. I poured out completely... period!
You may or may not trust me now but I cant totally make out if I want it right now.
The song that I jus post up, I dont even know why I post it up!!! Its not exactly the way Im feeling right now, but yarh, dont use it as an excuse or something. I cant believe that I was supposedly singgggleeeee for 3 years to have this,
THIS wham me right in the face in only what... the 3rd month. Let us not delude ourselves, it was present way way in probably the 2nd month onwards. & if I remember what you mentioned correctly, issues reared its ugly head after my
OH SO BIG declaration towards you.
sigh sigh...
nothing-ness creeps it at such a weird hour.
& all due to a five letter word called
trust.
sheeshhhhhhhhhhh....totally bummer.
=/
when darkness turns to light @ 3:11 am
