Saturday, November 08, 2008
november still in upheaval
The mixture of emotions is crazy. It is all flying around in circles above me. Swirling & sidewinding in a mini halo over my head. My hands are jittery too at the moment. The emotions, it is all causing a very big blur to blow up right now. I can feel all the goosebumps running up my spine in ecstasy.
No real words can explain how I truly am feeling....
Flabergasted, dumbfounded, stupid even are just momentary feelings.
VERY SMALL words to describe
SMALL MINUTE feelings that goes through my brain and heart at this present time. I keep asking why! I keep trying to calm myself from being to emotional. I've been chanting and murmuring praises to Allah just to stop me from breaking down into an emotional wreck. But the more I try to slow the fast blurry actions across my eyes, the more I chant Astargfirllah, and the more I try not to even
THINK about... it is all wearing me so thinly down.
I really am feeling...
I am either so different from their thinking...
Or I am just stubborn.
Truly, I wish that I am the latter, so that the bad labels are just on me....for truly that is what I am wishing for...
...dotty dotty dot...
Sadly & hopefully the truth, for I am not one to rest on my laurels. Not one to just be contented and percieve life as an achievement to have stable things. I know there is more out there...and for every dream that I have tried to pursue & FAILED. I know...
for it will just bring me one step closer to the REAL DREAM. & I will savour the moment then, not as point to prove that they were wrong but as a savoury of sweet delicacies, for success (whenever I achieve it) will be sweet and I will remember this journey.
MasyaAllah. Kita Hanya Dapat Merancang Tapi Tuhan Tetap Menentukan Nya.
Patience is bitter but the fruits are sweet...
when darkness turns to light @ 5:59 pm
