Saturday, March 31, 2007
end of march
March is just so not my month.
Its really been very tiring. Just so...so...so physically and emotionally drained...
I am on the verge of making important decisions...
I want April to come now!!!
I have so many things inside of me to say out...
But...
Saturday, March 24, 2007
It had been a while since I went snap snap with my N73...
I will always have my critics, either on my photography or my writings or even for my thoughts even, but hey this is what I whink. Except for the 1st picture which lacks colour mixture, I am quite proud of these few at the moment. So be it that its a little blur here n there, its pixilated in some portions but what can you expect from someone who tugs around his camera in his front pocket right ;)
& it was nice catching up with the OI fellows for dinner. Lets hope its not another year before we catch up again aites.
when darkness turns to light @ 1:28 pm
Friday, March 23, 2007
A fairy tale
For it was...
I can not remember exactly who's birthday it was, but the rest of the small facts and data are definitive in my memory cells.
It was in the middle of the night.
It was in Chinatown.
It was in a smoky room.
It was a small room filled with destressing from a day's turmoil.
It was loud with music.
A melacholic tune started to fill the airwaves and as the video untold a story, it put me into grips and bouts of pure sadness as I laid my eyes on
it for the first time. It was noisy and almost all werent really paying attention to
it, except of course the one with the mic. Heh!
It was the first time my eyes were upon
it...
It was the first time my ears were soothe by
it...
...& I fell in love with it.
Behold what lay me upon a cloud transporting me to never never land and for which I have yet to return from ...I think(",) Feast upon my most loved mandarin song, the one that brought me down to my knees & moved me to tears without me even understanding it, for I didnt see it with english subtitles the first time.
For I think, I can be compared to Peter Pan...
& my love(s), crush(es) and story(-ies) have been but ...in never never land
& is it still... (??)
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Ferrings
Check this out. Very very interesting production.
My mind is at a blank as to to how to put down to words the feelings, emotions and situation encompassing me. So I will let the video swirl your minds and set you thinking...
...while I do some thinking...
when darkness turns to light @ 4:44 pm
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
beyond the clouds
I look at you. You look back at me.
Yet it just stops short of more...
Things are slowly picking up...but I can still see the avalanche heading this way. It will be bright again soon. I just need to duck and keep my head snuggly beneath the snow. Let the passing melt away as I am having mixed feelings about leaving.
Yeah.
It always just stops short of more for me...
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
ro-ro0o-rolling
My life is never short of a roller coaster ride. & that is why I have truly described my blog as a roller coaster ride of my emotions. For it seems come ups or downs, I have failed miserably time and time again to control my emotions, which have always disastrously pulled me out of the excellent zone.
The brim of my venting frustration hit the roof, with the teapot lid being flung far far away by the hot hot steam. I've just cant control it no more. Luckily for me though, logic still played a very big part in my brain as I did not throw the resignation letter upon my supervisor's desk. Guess I just have to start searching for something more reclusive then.
As much as I want to...
I havent had the proper time to update my blog as much as I want.
So if I go missing for a while again, Im sure you readers will understand and just wait in earnst till your eyes can feast on the great words from me (",)
Monday, March 19, 2007
need for a reminder
Ive been reminding myself constantly...
Maybe I just got to remind myself in cyberspace as well...
When at your lowest point, just keep looking up*looks up high to the blue forlan sky*
when darkness turns to light @ 2:11 pm
Sunday, March 18, 2007
If I understand to feel that first pinch and go with it, I think I will be pretty much safeI typed a super duper long entry...
but somehow when I posted it, nothing was saved & I cant seem to rack my brains to come up with that same post again. Hah!
Birthday wishes to the Dunmanite from 4/9. Hahaha :P
To the Dunmanites who read this and go clueless, please bear with me. Its a joke amongst a certain group of us. Correct or not Siti Nur Farah. Or more affectionately known as Faj and/or Ratu gelek. My personal favourite would be Ti Ya. Hehehe. Happy "18+6" Birthday my dear friend. Hope all that you wish for comes true, be it Big or small. Hah!
When I can conjure up what I had typed earlier, I will post it. For now, thats all yar.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
cakap salah, tak cakap pun salah
This blog of mine has seen me evolved tremendously, I think.
I just cannot fit much of it into words no more. Be it in elaborate tapestry or simple bulding blocks of rocks.
I just have to learn alot of patience at this junction of my life. The part of life where we are supposed to move on into another phase of learning, and also into another phase of maturity. The patience that I am to learn will definitely come in handy a few chapters down the road of my life from now.
...but for now...
I just have to learn it...
& keep mum
and just nod my head in agreement or approval...
as anything that I say...
& those that I dont say as well...
can and will be used against me...
be it now...
or in the life hereafter...
when darkness turns to light @ 7:22 pm
Friday, March 16, 2007
brain rest time
My brain is in a rickety ruckus of a turmoil, subdued by the overload of information of work and cross bounded by the sea of emotions that go along with it. The red sails of dollar bills doesnt lighten the burden as with the tremors and aftershocks that follow.
I cant think much already. Period.
Congrats to my little sister who has passed her 2b on her first attempt coupled with her good A level results that I am sure will see her in one of the local Uni. Congrats adek (",)
Okay nothing much thats trickling out of this brainy cup for now.
Period.
when darkness turns to light @ 2:47 pm
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
F#%$
This is going to be a very very long & tiring Tuesday.
Bleargh!!!
Yesterday's shit suddenly seems a fading distant to
YOU people uh ??
YOU so easily want to pass it off and manipulate the data just so it meets the dateline. Should not it only be the correct data ?
YOU and your chin chye attitude.
That great dark cloud hovering work seems to be brought on to my personal life some how ?
Very early, on a Tuesday morning, on a road that I zoom past everyday, & how I pass by the white cars & bikes easily... I suddenly heard a bleep and a siren beside me. I was stopped not because I was speeding nor because I was zig zagging. It was all due to a 40% tinted visor. The female office looked familiar yet not a word from her, she must have recognised my bike or something. Bah! It made me late & stepping into the office is just another super whirl wind nauseating feeling now. Totaly disenchanted.
When all the data is suddenly wrong because of
YOUR misinterpretation of the population, I suddenly take ownership uh ? When
YOU are the person who's going to ultimately run the new warehouse management system,
YOU want to anyhow put data in so that OTHERS are pleased ? & since
YOU are of senior level, everyone will just look at how I did wrong, right ?
YOU are so in deep shit since I am on the verge of submitting my resignation!!
Another long long draggy Tuesday!!!
when darkness turns to light @ 8:49 am
a story of...
Here is something which I find a very fruitful thing to read ;)
KISAH CINTA DAN KAWAN
Satu hari CINTA dan KAWAN berjalan-jalan di kampung.
Tiba-tiba CINTA terjatuh kedalam telaga.
Kenapa..??
Kerana CINTA itu buta.
Lalu KAWAN pun ikut terjun dalam telaga.
Kenapa??
Kerana KAWAN akan buat apasaja demi CINTA!!
Di dalam telaga, CINTA hilang.
Kenapa?
Kerana CINTA itu halus, mudah hilang jika tidak dijaga, sukar dicari apatah lagi dalam telaga yang gelap.
Sedangkan KAWAN masih lagi tercari-cari di mana CINTA dan terus menunggu.
Kenapa??
Kerana KAWAN itu sejati dan akan kekal sebagai KAWAN yang setia ...kan?
Jadi, hargailah kawan kita selagi kita terasa dia bererti & bukan kerana simpati...
:)
when darkness turns to light @ 2:40 am
Monday, March 12, 2007
*grins*
Dalam kehidupan ini yang terindah
melalui usia remaja
senda gurau suka duka
sering berganti meninggalkan kesan abadai
berdebar debar hati nya
kali pertama bertentang mata
inilah pengalaman
harus ditempuhi setiap insan
kenakalan atau kesungguhan
sukar mencari perbezaan
betapa ko cuba melindungi
jelas di wajah rahsia hatiI have this tune in my head for how many days already. I have kept on watching Ali Setan for the upteenth time already. I dont know what is up with the movie that I keep watching it happily over & over again. I just feel the butterflies in my stomach everytime, together with my smurky smile none the less. Its just so magical the feeling catching Ali Setan.
Really am unable to describe the feeling no matter how many times the re-run is upon my eyes. The only sad feeling is its not the full version. There seems to be a few missing scenes. Oh well better then nothing right ;)
The past few days have been urm, lets just say un-explainable really.
I have many times just stared upon my blogger page & in the end I just watched Ali Setan all over and over again. Heh.
But tonight, its a little different...
(",) I got a reply tonight,
with a nice smiley face on the sms at that...heeeeeeeeeeeee...
I know for a certain I am going to sleep so soundly tonight.
Tomorrow will be a good day, InsyaAllah.
*hums tune*
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Ali Setan
Holy kwakamolly!!
How the hell did this whole 92min classic film got loaded into YouTube.
Enjoy you young children of today (",)
Happy Birthday Ms.Secretary :)
when darkness turns to light @ 4:42 am
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
am torn between(s)
Agitation always seems to set in the morning. Arghhh!
I aint feeling as super agitated as yesterday but there certainly is that tinge of irritation. There are plentiful of ideas running and floating in this wanderless mind of mine. Some are zany, some are wild, some are great & most are just stale ideas that are trying to rejuvenate me. There is just so many things in my mind.
The musically deaf me just needed some music to sooth this soul. And surprisingly the choice of music that the ear is asking for are mat jiwang2 songs! woHooo!! I am having a ball listening to them as I edit my 30,000 stacks of HUM line data. I aint supposed to be happy to edit them but I was actually noticed by colleague beside me, humming and 'karaoke-ing' to the songs. That's a first uh from me at work. Heh.
So so strange the reversal from the frustrating me of yesterday.
Anyway I got a new cloud of suggestion from sgt 5zal. Thailand ride up from 11th to 16th April. I am thinking, that is just a su-weet way to usher the quarter century of my life. But then again hmmm. Sgt [K] and Hotstuff arent going. They have set their sights on Clubman, something which I want too!!! Especially so after ordering my pictures, finally, from the track day sessions of 2006. This is such a crucial year for me and my baby, Rose no.2
...So dear Rose...which do you prefer ?
touring or track ?
my OH my
...She wants both
*grins*Guess I got to burn the time away at the dream creator company now for that much needed cash, after which I am going to burn away my pocket. Heh.
On a lighter note from the past entry, I still dont get you my dear ms.secretary. Seriously I dont get what you are tagging.
& me being typical me, I tried to run away from this small kiddy crush problem. I somehow managed to find an eyecandy for myself in GSK. Haha. I wonder why I create another problem for myself when I have so many unresolved problems at hand.
The long hair, the nice round eyes, the fair skin, the executive wear...o0o0o. I stood beside her in the cafe during lunch and I think shes taller then me. Heh oh wells. I think shes new, less then a month. & no surprise thats shes not malay, since its almost impossible to find a non-married malay lady here in GSK. Well at least I think she will keep my eyes busy during lunch time.
*looks at the time*Its almost lunchhh, time to get my eyes busy, erm I meant ...
Oh you know what I mean.
=)
Sunday, March 04, 2007
I miss yu
A small & common phrase. This sparked off a debacle of conversations with quite a number of people all wanting to know if they are the elusive person I am missing. Wahaha. This led to an astonishingly high amount of profound exchanges, some of which I would like to share...
Me: the way to a man's heart is through his tummy
BC: and the way through mine is through the chest
BC: cause my heart is at my chest you see
Me: literally speaking yes
Me: methaphorically...NOPE
Me: if its through the chest...all guys would have an easy task..
Me: but its probably locked up in some secret prison of the female anatomy
Me: way beyond the canniving reaches of the species called 'male'
BC: ;)
BC: woah
BC: thats deep
BC: come let's date
BC: haha
Me: ermmm...now that was easy
BC: ahahaha
Me: if only it was real easy like this all the time...
Me: then I can put all the hassle of wooing to the side
Me: & just have 1 liners that are deep all the time
----------
GA: oohh
GA: kiddy crush
GA: on who?
Me: my eyecandy
GA: does she know?
Me: my heart says...I dont tink so
Me: but my brains tell me that Im in denial...
Me: & based on what some of my frens say...probably...she knows
GA: tell her
GA: who knows
Me: tell her ...nehhh
Me: Im not ready for rejection
GA: ask her out la
GA: as a friend
GA: go with the flow as they say
Me: I have tried...
Me: I went with the flow....
GA: and?
Me: so maybe it is just that...
Me: its jus a kiddy crush...
Me: or maybe I lost the oppurtunity already
Me: its been a draggy crush since hari raya 2005
GA: try again
GA: try try try
Me: haha
Me: yahh like how I try to ask you out ??
Me: heh
GA: haha saya lain
Me: everything is the same
Me: its the same old playind field
Me: like how i always think...
Me: if it happens...it happens
Me: I can only try so much...
Me: even with yu
GA: if it doesnt too bad
Me: nope...
Me: its not a too bad...
Me: if it doesnt happen...its normal...it just wasnt meant to be
GA: oh its the same
GA: it still did not happen
Me: too bad is the cup half empty
Me: I'd prefer to see it half full
Me: even if its a few drops in it
---------
F: what with the kiddy crush?
F: hmmmm
Me: ntah la ehhh
Me: haha...inspired by yesterday...
Me: feeling like going for one last hurrah
F: hehehe..it was inspring
Me: get it ?
F: then you should
F: shouldnt live to regret
Me: one last hurrah
F: I heard surah semalam
F: hahahha
Me: surahhh
Me: what the!!!
F: tu ah.
F: hahaha
F: I swear Im deaf
F: hahaha
Me: no wonder
Me: haha...
F: anyway, I tink you should.
Me: hmmm....
F: you have my vote on that
Me: everyone seems to be telling me that
F: but the timing MUST be right
Me: hmm...yeah
Me: thats the thing..Ive never been good with, timing
F: its just like your feeling
F: and you cant be intimidating about it i guess
Me: come on instincts....KICK IN!!!
F:hahaha
F: heh
F: true
F: honestly, its hard to go with the flow when you dont know where you stand
Me: tu ar
F: what your chances are
F: but its just as hard to ask the person up front.
F: and it sucks when at the end of the day, it might be just u shiok sendiri
Me: but when i talked to it...to a friend before...who knows both me n my eyecandy
Me: he said...he did see something between us..
Me: & GEE!!! why didnt I see it...
F: you didnt see it cause you are in your own world..I think when people see it, it means more than u seeing it
F: hehee
--------
Me: we must learn from our mistakes...& not leave our friends in a lurch...just because of a POTENTIAL partner
Me: thats what I have learnt
PM: hrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
PM: ok good one........
PM: true true true........
PM: friends are always there for you...
PM: girls come and go..
Me: ;)
Me: it works for both sexes
PM: anytime can
PM: hahah
PM: ya i know
Me: glad yu understand
PM: hey i've always treasure friends
PM: only that i'm not treasured i guess
PM: hahah
Me: urmmmm.... hmmmm
Me: when yu point 1 finger out
Me: 4 points back to you
PM: 3 pointing back la...
PM: not 4
Me: 4 :)
PM: thumb point forward la
PM: hahah
Me: check properly...& you'll understand
Haha.
Now that was a laugh re-reading & getting this post up ;)
when darkness turns to light @ 8:51 pm
Saturday, March 03, 2007
in-check
Be careful now...
Got to keep it in check.
Dont let the kiddy crush turn into an infatuation...
when darkness turns to light @ 3:25 pm
