Wednesday, June 11, 2008
28 - 26 = 2.7x
The trust a colleague had in me was amazingly huge. In that great reveling though, I chanced upon something which is superbly disturbing to me at the moment.
I have always known all along how much educators are paid. Heh I grew up on educators' pay. & yet I was very much caught off-guard with the digits that I saw. It totally shook me off my seat. That led to a small & mini conversation on how much my pay is so paltry in comparison to his. No doubt on my part his stature in society and his academic scrolls but we are only 2 years apart. I started working around the same time as him & yet...
What pertubes me the most is the way those digits are mind boggling and insanely far away from mine. I had to check with my girlfriend, "why again am I a CCPE?" to which she answered, "because you love the job."
Let me try to put aside those lovely students, especially those that I have come to be very fond of. Lets put aside the great supervisors and wonderful working environment. Brush off even the colleagues that are now great friends. The events and wonderful activites and what about all the running around it is giving me...pick up now and lets chuck it one corner too.
Why am I staying ??
Ohhh...there is the CCPE familie. The great people whom I have a shoulder, or in this instance many shoulders to cry and complain on. They are the light to which when I need to escape the rigours of the education sector. They are the ones whom are under going similar plights as me & they are the ones that keep me sane.
But is all of that enough ??
The digits still swirl in my mind. The first thoughts that flew through my mind were how its 3 TIMES of what I earn. & after which I had settled down with my thoughts, a quick calculation led to 2.7 times. Shit thats still ALOT! This is the juncture where I am deciding if I should stay or walk. My kind and trusting colleague even told me that I am not paid the worth for amount of work thats been done. sigh sigh.
In such an inflated market where booming oil prices always steadily goes up. An era that my pay alone wont allow me to buy a flat, especially since flat prices are going up again. A time that $10 no longer allows me eat out with my partner and still have change. Heck, its not even sufficient!!
I ponder on the piles and piles of work that make up the mountains on my workstation. I think of all the so-called welfare that my company is providing me. I cringe at the pathetic pay that I am drawing each month. I really question myself if I am still loving the job.
I aint sure...
...only maybe because the digits are affecting me.
I cant think rationally at the moment.
But I really really wish that my management would read this and reflect...
Is it so hard up for the company to profit less just to ensure a lower trun over rate. To ensure they keep the best. To ensure precious training hours dont go to waste. Oh of course to ensure that people stop licking deir management balls to get a higher pay. I grow weary of the need for appearances in HQ level some times. For I know...all of that sometimes doesnt matter. Ive seen it once too often. You pile on the delegation and so called titles and make use of our ingenuity and sheer hardwork, is it so much to ask for more ?
With my own eyes, I have seen countless leave and when all was filtered, the 'big' fat paycheck always seem to be the pull and push factor. Neither how much they had loved the school nor the fondness that had attached to them could make them stay. I really understand why... These are sometimes what I see for myself, the people who are much much better in this job than I am. They who contributed much much more than what the norm does & yet...
Hey ...I aint spectacular. I dont consider myself good. I just am a loud motor mouth who does his job last minute every time and makes use of all oppurtunities to skive. But since you rate me not bad & the school rates me not bad, why aint I deserving something bigger ?
Walauwe! This is really affecting me today!
People from HQ, please read this & analyse!!
=/
Monday, June 09, 2008
paddle, wheels and knees
It has taken me more than 53hours to find and cave out from deep inside of me, the energy to put up this post. I cannot remember if I have ever run more than 10km straight at one shot...but 53hours ago...
I DID IT!!! Wohoooo...
In all tiredness, shagness, just plain down right nak mampos-ness...somehow my battered body found the will to complete the MESRC Adventure Challenge 2008. What an accomplishment, what an overwhelming feeling to have under my belt 6km of kayaking, 10km of cycling and 15km of trail running at one go...and not to mention it was raining
HEAVILY at that. *thounderous round of applause* The best feeling comes from the fact that I did not stop at all through out my 15km run and that I was able to maintain an unbelievable pace. *standing ovation* haha...
...but of course, the aching and beat up body needed rest. Hours and ends of rest. Haha & now I find myself having difficulty just going down steps. Oh the excruciating pain that exerts from my right knee ligaments. The painful price to pay for an over blown balloon of an ego right now. Haha
(",)
when darkness turns to light @ 5:27 pm
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
maintaining the rev...
My mind is thinking way to fast for me to type it all out...
It has always been like this. I always have wanted to update my blog, even when the desires do not seem to flow endlessly in any silky fashion. Many a times though, the words just go racing by 123456789 words per sec. I cant possibly jot that down ...can I ?
Nearly 1 whole year of being on hiatus. The only viable reasoning for me forgetting about this cyberspace of mine is ...
*bites lips* There is no logical reasoning nor feasible explanation. Work has always been work. I cant use that as an excuse. The desires for which started this blog ...hey they are way long gone and the desires that follow up on them some how weren't THAT strong for me to continue to pen down my thoughts.
Its funny though how this space had been frequented quite often. Guess I can only say out shamelessly that they either;
- Really really love my writing and miss it so much
- They care enough about me to want to know whats happening in my brain
- They couldnt figure out how to un-do the make death-of-a-desire my homepage in internet explorer properties.
Hahaha. I am so enjoying writing again ;)
Any way I have tons and gazillions of photos to upload, speaking of which I cant forsee how I am going to do that here any time soon. Heh. But let me just start out with my recent short getaway. Kura2 tagged me along in a 1 day ride to Port Dickson. & there I was riding my 1000cc bike & its ONE OF THREE SMALLEST BIKE IN THE GROUP!!! Rose felt like a small girl amongst the blackbirds. Haha...oh well...here are the pictures that potray a thousand words ;)
First pit stop at Machap
Thats an FZ1 followed by the rest
Thats the FZ1 owner - Kura2
Yamaha Model ??
2nd pit stop at Ayer Keroh. Notice the "smaller bikes" are together and the "big bikes" are together =P
The real reason for the Ayer Keroh pit stop ;)
Pure delight
The group -1
"lost" in Linggi
Figuring out how to get to Port Dickson
Finally we arrived at Eagle Ranch Resort
Rose & me ;)
poseeeee
ermm ?!?
The cabin
All the guys -1
Time for WAR
Fierce ak ?
Post war picture 
Picture with a horse
Asking the horse how to get to the go kart area 
Time to race
Gentleman...start your engines!!!
no15 takes the leadddddddddddd...
novice class racers with shower cap. haha
Kura2 and me
Just me ;)
Last pic in the cabin
Saying good bye to Eagle ranch
Hey...look here!!!
...& so until my brain slows down again to a pace my Intel processor can keep up with (",)
when darkness turns to light @ 9:10 pm
Monday, June 02, 2008
the 1st month
Tears of perspiration rolled down my rough coarse skin. Never did I expect that what was being done was damn difficult. Never did it occur to me that lighting up 100 candles would cause me to sweat. Haha...I know ...I know. Where have I been. Hah.
There have been several times in which I thought that
'this would be it.' That of course refered to the point in which I would start blogging again. This time around, I am pretty sure. This huge and immense urge is far to great for me to let slip and not blog about. This feeling, this oh surreal feeling...
Without to much detail and to much back tracking on history and its information...I lay across the real reason why I feel that this pinch is too much for me not to blog about.
It has been slightly more that 1 month since I knew her. And in our conversations, she had asked when was it we actually got together. I never found the confidence nor the correct timing to ask her to be mine. Somehow we just grew closer within such a short time span but deep in my heart I had known it ever since that 2nd date ;) That 2nd date was 1 month ago.
& so approximately 25hrs ago from this posted time, I was in a basketball court profusely sweating as I lit up all 100 candles. Once completed, I gave her a call which I purposely made her expect. I am quite sure the display makes up for the missing question. Haha. It quite clearly is an indication of when the date is ...right ;)
Happy 1st month my dear (",)
when darkness turns to light @ 2:19 am
