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Ridak & his RollerCoaster
This is his emotional ride.



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Its the last day of May. I looked back upon May, reading my past entries, reflecting. There are a few that made me smile, a few that made me smurk. Mostly thought if not all had tinges that made me reminiscent. Someone once told me to reminiscent is good. It makes us think where we can improve in the future. I'm starting to doubt this.

Almost all have hints or drops of jupiter in them. And reading them back and over again, I'm questioning myself why I have been in such a state. Then only I realise, I still am in that state.

Life has been no less than ordinary for me. This months has been no exception none the less. I don't have to think hard. May has completely taken me out and over. From the very 1st day up until now. It has been all but of memories, sweet & sour. Bitter medicine some may say. And yet there are also the flashes, the angst, the sufferings, the deceit and the familiar terrains.

Everything has taken and bowled me over till the tenth pin drops.

In questioning the pains, I have had the pleasure to also recieve a little bit of heaven here on earth. Not plentiful. Just enough in bits & pieces to ensure my sanity doesn't run off. Enough just to confirm rejection from an asylum. Heh, I really did had that though in my mind once.

In all the goodness and the bad, 1 thing sticks out like a sore thumb. Only 1 keeps prickling like a thorn on a stalk of rose. Everything points to myself and my inabilites to adapt fast enough in this emotional game they call LOVE.

It has all boiled down to me. Just 1 thing, me. Yesh you're correct. No point rubbing your eyes trying to re-read again. Don't bother to refresh this page thinking theres a glitch online. It is me. Everything now is about me and my flaws.

I'm at the edges of losing myself again. Im still reeling in the pain of a lost love. Still in doubts, still being paranoid and still acting in a big play called denial. Still-ness. In all honesty then why have I found myself in another web thats growing, entangling myself, subjecting myself to the game. Why ?

Plain simple cofusion. Its not about other people no more. Its just down to me. Think I need my drill sergeant to shout the living daylights out of me to wake up. Like how Staff Hassan use to do it in the old Delta days,

"Delta Company...Fall in...PCG Squads 53!!...54!!...Fall in..."

& then as the company pet & a daily routine...

"RIDAK...sini ko...kasi aku 20 push up"

Yeah maybe thats all I need. A *^&*, !#$@, )@!^ wake up call!!!

*wakes up in cold sweat after terrible nightmare about Hassan. Hah*

Later in the morning, its the last day of May. Let it end on a good note., please.


The hypnotic effects are still twirling around endlessly up there. Been feeling dizzy, hazy & outta sorts this whole day. Maybe kidding the doctor with a bad case of headache is hitting back on me. Arghhh.

Maybe its just too much sleep. Cause I slept at ard 1plus am yesterday. Woke up at 10. Zombying around the house a few hours before I feel asleep again till maghrib. Only then has my brain found the correct tick work. It was really outta sorts today.

The feeling of my maiden track session in pasir gudang is just unbelievable. Really I tell you. Gosh, made me really wonder how I could let slip 6 years of my biking world without entering the arena.

"...remember your parents when you're in there..."
"...remember me when you're in there..."

Someone msg-ed me that before I left. And I really2 was thinking of all my loved ones, especially when the track was feeling dangerously close to me during the corners. Well for my first time, I should think I'm ok. Not good, but not bad. My machine is really great. I love Rose no.2 *grins*

Can't wait for my next track session. I want to improve. I want to make sure I don't stray into the gravel no more. I want to take the corners till my knee sliders are that low. I want to hit under 2mins for my lap time. I want it all.

And I'm thinking, do I want something else ??

Yesterday evening, fresh from Pasir Gudang, all blurry and heavy eyed I went to watch X men. The ol lepak gang. A personal opinion, I hate the way the movie went. Darn, I love X men, but why did the movie had to end that way.

So after the movies, we were just relaxing & chatting to our cups of cold drinks. I was just waiting for my Guardian Angel to msg me. In the end that msg never came. & I rotted at home till this point where I'm blogging. It seemed we're drifiting further apart. I dont know. And to think I had such a wonderful Saturday with her. Guess thats just me, just unable to hold on to something great.

For you were also in my thoughts during the corners, dear Angel.

So do I really want something else ??

- The Gear -



Arai fullface RX7-RR4
Sete Gibernau '05 replica
- $790






G-Max
2 Piece Racing suite
- $450









Oxtar Sport GTX
Racing boots
- $280





IZ - 2
Long Racing Gloves
- $70

In hoping for the best, we still got to live life to the max.

Sing a long session was orchestrated to almost a perfect pitch. Nothing is perfect in this world, so an almost perfect is as good as it gets. 1 picture sums it all up. I miss you guys already.


That was friday. Woke up all blurry eyed with a hanging heart that ended with the previous post. Heh oh well. I was going to have a wonderful event later on in the day. Unexpectedly, though as much as expected *smurks* something good came up in the afternoon. Something I'll reveal when its all fully settled. *grins sheepishly*

Acam...? Ada setail ak the pose ? Heh think its true I love myself too much (",)

Oh something my guardian angel said after our cam whoring session made me utter this phrase,

"I am dying a little everyday only to be resurrected and renewed to be a better me, constantly."

PS; for those who could be squirmishing about our matching attire, it was totally mere coincidence. Just like every other thing that had brought me & her together. Don't you agree Lis ?

They say to love is to let go. For when a person is able to let go of their love one, only then will they truly understand what love is all about.

Blurry water shed eyes are all about 1's lost love. Ludricous lyrics all penned down for the comfort of many a waning hearts. I have found this the good and old fashion way. Screaming one's heart out at the top of their freaking lungs.

A revolution of sorts has taken place amidst many situations of sorts. From the sad to the happy, the good to tha bad or vice versa and the unexpected to the expected....

Someone pointed out that its all to cliche' this love thing sometimes. We all even wonder if its all really worth it ? I do for one, now think & understand that its all really2 worth it. I dont know about you. No matter how cliche' it sometimes seems to be, that tingling feeling of familiarity is the one that people seek so often, so so often.

And so with the coming of age, the unnerving flip of a chapter or the switching of a button...it has to be done sometimes. No doubt, it can easily be returned. Just a small step back but...

Try walking from point A to point B. When you take 3 steps forward, move back 2 steps. Repeat the process in getting to point B...

So we must sometimes understand that we can only walk around the garden a few times. More, or too many times walking round the garden and we will only find ourselves age without grace unlike the beautiful scenery our eyes catch hold of.

Underneath it all, that is what truly matters though.

So don't you take what is superficially on display, for many have already been fooled. Just like a political campaign clammering for voters. Its just superficial most of the times. So don't you take what is superficially on display. For deep deep down inside, I'm sure you still remember and recognise that glowing heart of mine thats beating with a constant pound...drumming to a mystic chant of the old sharma. Mystically and alluringly to where I should no longer belong, which is to you.

For when all is unwraped, why issit still you ?


...All this is just a figment of my imagination...
...All this are just tricks of my mind to help me get back up...
...But what really are all this ?

Oh I've been reeiving a few good and positive remarks about this blog. Thanks people for the feedback. I really hope you've enjoyed RIDAK's rollercoaster ride. Heh. Do come again =P

In getting feedback, I've realised that I've been pretty blur about a number of figures in my life that Ive constantly mentioned. I'll try to clear the doubts. Starting with today cause...

How could I have forgotten to mentioned it yesterday. Other than my sister's birthday, it was also miss hourglass's birthday *sprays confetti* . She finally hit the big 2 in front. Hehe. Well I was a little dissapointed that I couldn't catch up with my eyecandy on her birthday *anticiapates alot of rolling eyes*

K I shall say it clearly. *Braces myself* Miss hourglass is my eyecandy. Heh. Erm its more of a kiddy crush ? I'm pretty sure she knows about it already. Well, we are good friends nothing more, yet. Haha. Just me with a little extra thoughts in my head =P

So since she had spent some time with me on my birthday, I was really looking forward to spending a little time with her on her special day. She was partying too much haha, smsing me at 7am yesterday trying to confirm our meet up. As expected, she slept all through the day and I wasnt able to be slotted in any other time slot. *Thinking if she'll ever read this post*

Oh well, luckily I had already arranged a group session tonight. Yeah tonight. So menteri, shift, fariz, nora ting tong, blurr, lady byotch, Jam & farhan. See you all tonight. I miss this crowd of people. I really do. siGh.

Anyway since I lost my 512Mb memory card, I've lost alot of many person's contacts & pictures. I must learn to back up my cards to my computer. Oh well I'm just lucky I have a few of miss hourglass's pics in my compt. Thses are just some of my favourites ;)


right: the first pic of many

left: our maiden hosting session. what a memory






lefties: from our hari raya series :p
couple shots konon haha *she'll flake me if she sees this*




right: we were the perjumpaan hosts :)
another sweet memory.


left: blurry eyes after overnight bbq.

right: how could I not smile. heh.



Actually I have 1 favourite pic, which I named "akak sexy & abg berg" haha (hearing all the laughs, esp from those who've seen that pic) but it was not back up-ed in my compt. I presume the memory card is still somewhere at TPE. So I cant upload it here. Oh well.

Since that lost, this pic has been my favourite. When she saw me put it as my L7 background, she only commented , "Nonsense" haha. Oh well. This is my eye candy.

...All this is just a figment of my imagination...
...All this are just tricks of my mind to help me get back up...
...But what really are all this ?


It has never failed to amaze me, that whenever in need family is always there. My family; as strangely different each uique character is, we seem to be unified with 1 common understanding so far.


So today there was a need. Not a we need help need, but more the need to lubricate our delicate blend of gel thats holding us together. My sister turns 23 today *hoorah & sprays confetti* & the family has always made it a point to go out for a family meal on each others birthday. Tonight was no exception.

Oh the funny lil thing about my sister is shes strange *rolls eyes* hah. Well she came back with a pout and all noisily complaining. She was venting steam the moment she stepped in the front door asking why I never pick up her call. I was riding just now & had just recently arrived home myself. She had got herself into a bike crash earlier & was needing my help. Sheesh, last week it was me, this week is her. But its sadder for her cause its her birthday. Not much for talking when shes venting, I just took the bike keys and rode her bike under the block to inspect under the lightings.

Its not that bad. A case of jatuh bodoh jugak, just that she had another bike brake her fall. So okay la, not so bad the scratches. Just very badly placed right ferring & shattered windscreen. Oh well there goes my money again. *shakes head in disbelief*

The dinner was a relief for her I think. Ha, well at least it was for me. It helped me eat, alot. My youngest sister was just cam whoring the whole time. Aiyoh think almost all the pictures contained her in it, and shes not the birthday gurl haha. Well theres some pictures to show me & my family. I highly recommend going to Pattaya Garden Restaurant at Changi Road for the Prawn tempura, only. Haha.

left: the birthday girl & me mum

right: my youngest sister with my dad.



left : me & my sister. Wow shes all grown up =P





Oh this last picture a little extra. Reached home and just couldnt resist taking 1 'merenung' shot. Haha...




If you're there and not feeling for thai food, Jong Ann Restaurant just moved in a couple of units away. Its more known as Boh Seng to my family cause my dad is constantly sitting at this coffeeshop when it was at its Pasar Geylang premises. & he knows the owner and his son. Boh Seng is the name of the owner. Heh, so now we should call it Ah Kwang, since the son already took over, heh!

Oh without fail, the family also made me emotional. -shrugs- My mum blurted my 'sadness' to my sisters. Great, now they 'officially' know. Oh well...Just got to try harder to move on. She finally updated her blog after a month of hiatus, today. Oh well...

*broods* Great ending to a post uh =/


"We have to be real wary & careful when trying to console people who had broken down for we may brake down harder ourselves."

The topsy turvy week of last continues to this. A very strange yet very familiar pattern has arisen of late, it goes something like;
Catch my saying here ?

Still rather muddle headed for my choices of the near future. I really need good sound advice and I don't want it from people who knows my past & what turmoil I'm going through. Does that make sense ?

Well I went to view my new house just now. It was still very much in construction and amidst renovation. The most appropiate word to use is...Small... It is small compared to what I'm used to. Just got to get use to it. Heh, my guardian angel had pointed out its time for me to get my own. Ha. Even my lil sister told me that when I lamented about the apartment size. Guess yup, maybe in 2 to 3 years time, I'll definietly be able to own an apratment myself.




If life is bliss now, it is only so due to a reason.

Ignorance is bliss

There are so many things which I have had to ignore, purposely left unknown or even things which are being deserted altogether for the time being. It really helps, it does. Ignorance is really bliss. For life seems to be blissful now.


Tasks. Many tasks. A mountain of tasks. All unnervingly ready to avalanche on me yet I seem to be cool. Cool, just cool the way you like your soft drink on a hot sweltering afternoon. *slurps*

Behind all the scenes though is totally different. I'm perspiring rushing to get tasks completed, for it will only pile up. And with such heavenly light, as if knowing that I could use a helping hand, you popped up online.

I'm glad that you helped me abit. I'm sure it will go a long way.

But in that moment of relief, silent relief, I broke down. I just couldn't help it.

The tyres drifting us too damn far.

The waves splashing up across the beach too hard drifting the sand & the sea.

The hurricane coming across the plains ravishing all within its path, drifting us further.

And the silent bird, oblivion to all just keeps on flying & fighting, drifiting further from the true course.

I just broke down, again.


To sum up violence against women, SPH republished a very good quote from a prominent figure of Singapore,











They say the best things in life are for free...

Alot of things in life are for free, and not all of them are good. Ha. Its been a while since I've had free time like today. 12hr shift is a pain in the ass, really. It makes me have loads of stupidity time at work, whilst making me very2 tired at home. Thats not great. Ha.

Not counting the little msn appearance of yours the other day, we've really had such the minimal contact with each other. Its made me have so much time to think about things. 1 things for sure, I'm starting to feel really stupid sitting by my bed, staying online all day waiting for you, for it doesn't help. Certainly doesn't as well when the parents complain of the high electric bill. Gosh like the computer in standby mode takes up lots of Watt. They just don't want to believe the electronics diploma graduate.

Maybe what you're doing, intentionally or not, is the correct thing ? I don't know. My guardian angel reminds me to have hope. Heh. She cleverly repeated what i wrote in my blog a while back. No wonder it rang certain bells. Oh well.

Not knowing much about your activites for a month, has made it rather difficult to relay my information to you. I've been trying to write this weeks email(or rather last week). I just can't seem to finish it. Its still half done in my drafts, and yet another week has come. 1 week went by without me emailing you.

Its strange that I'm starting to treat life like normal. I know though that the mind could be playing tricks on me. Well I really hope I get out of this phase. I'm not liking it much compared to the previous weeks. I have started to eat more but on such an irregular basis. It makes my tummy bloat a moment and later all skin & bones. Its also causing disruption to my excercise regime. Sigh. I don't know what really to do if not for the companionship of my guardian angel.

Life is becoming topsy turvy. Heh. (Don't smurk yu.) OK I'll admit I wasn't strong enough to hold on to what I said I could do. Watching MotoGP really helped by the way. Its teaching me how to manouver better with my bike.
-RANDOM...I'm taking Rose no.2 out of the workshop later in the day, Yeah-
I could certainly use to practise what I learnt today on telly for my pasir gudang session on the 29th. Well watching Melandri win in exciting fashion was great but I couldn't help it that jumping for joy made me drop my pants. Ha. & I'm so not slim nor look like a 16 year old small boy *pouts*
Life is just topsy turvy.

Oh I'm begining to find out how evil certain men really are. I was once like those evil men. But that character of mine has long diminished before my proper manhood days. I don't lay a finger on women any more. I don't understand how one can easily hurt a lady that's not under their care. Gosh. And they claim to care for that women who's nowhere near lawfully them. I pity yu. Don't say I didn't offer my shining knight services.

To all guys, please respect certain boudaries. I've learnt where mine are. Cause I have to say it here(due to my large ego). I apologise to my sisters for enduring the pain of my light hand I had when I was a pre-adolescent. I have understood so please make sure no other guys touch you if I don't do it. Tell me & I'll do the necessary if the need arises.

Lady fans & readers *chuckles* Don't tolerate guys' whose touch causes pain. It will only get worst when matrimony sets in. Understand where lies a tap & a slap, for it will go along way.

For I will never hurt you the way he does...

Oh what a topsy turvy week it was.


Life's swirling funnily. Its just when I thought I had gotten up on my 2 feet. Its really strange.

My mum has been rubbing the salt deeper into the wound, as always. As a reminder that I have to move on. Cause even though the salt is just going inflict to further pain, its going to help the wound heal much2 faster. She always does this you know. Its not that I hate it, I just hate the pain it causes. But I know she loves me thats why she wants me to move on. Ha, shes finally stopped with the marriage teasing for a while since she knows I'm single.


Initially,
it seemed that I was your rebound & you were mine. It was a blissful & perfect harmony. perfectly no strings. Then funnily the rebound had no more bounce(which isn't actually surprising). It instead became springingly connected. You were there for me & I was there for you. Another perfect harmony. As weird as it got, you professed I wasn't the rebound & that our chemistry could go along way. I knew I would face dissapointment, yet the butterflies came back rushing rather eagerly into the stomach. It was too fast too soon, definietly. Chemisty was there but...

I knew you were not the rebound, cause the rebound already came and bounced off. So what do I do?

It took a wicked turn, all the bouncing and there I was left stranded again, wondering what if

I do like the way you're calling me, "Dir oh Dir"


My confidance is at a low. Don't ask me why. Think I'm done with asking people, or rather girls, out for dates no more. Its just going to slump my confidance lower & I don't need that now.

I have said it once. I'm going to say it again. I owe a lot to this blog. This is certainly a blessing in disguise. If I had lost my hp & contacts last time, it would have probably meant total loss. With this blog wow surprise people sms me now asking if I have their contact. Good uh ?

Emotions. Your emotions. They tend to play games with you. When you thought you got control over it, they'd just pop up a surprise. Catching you off guard, your emotions gets the better of you.

Theres a small slump in my 'so called' getting my life back on track. My roller coaster almost derailed on the last 2 mishaps. Its at the very edges of a very fine track. Any minute now, with just a small blow of the wind it can be derailed.

So fragile is my emotions now. I got to remain strong.

I finally saw you online again. A bitter sweet surprise. Funny how you were missing when I was up & you popped up again when the mishaps pile up. I really wasn't expecting to see you online, & there bloodshot fireclouds loomed again.

Its a strange & lonely path I'm taking. The glimmering shine that my guardian angel provides is becoming blurrer by the minute. The light that was once so bright is now getting wierdly inconsistent. Maybe it has to come this way. I don't know.

In times of crisis, my family is always there. I had dinner with my parents yesterday. Gosh I can't remember the last time I gave them the privelage of myself sitting with them by the dinner table. It was just 3. My financial plans were discussed & so were my plans for my future life. The question finally came regarding you, & I held as strong as possible not to brake down in front of food. My parents know everything & its summed up nicely,













Oh my, what's wrong with 17 May!!!

Another mishap has happened and my what a mishap. Cant really say I didnt see all this coming but I never really expect it to be like this. Late in the wee hours of 17 May, I already had to pick up my spoilt Nokia 3230 from the TPE. Now this.

These few mishaps, siGh, I'm looking at it as a test. You know, the storm before the calm. Already had decided to slowly get back up so these are the things to pull me back down again. Can easily just wallow in self pity but I would have of course failed. These mishaps are just a test to my mettle to make me stronger, I believe, insyaAllah.

So this morning had woken up early, met my guardian angel & sent her to work. Let her have some eye candy since I'm in executive wear. Hah! What's with women & their thing for guys in executive wear haha *grins* We arrived early so just relax with a morning cuppa. Miss hourglass then sms-ed me. She was late, haha, padahal padahal, I had given her morning call. tsk3.

She candidly proposed & I quote,
"Hey, if I ask you to gime a lift, wud u kill me?"
unquote...Of course how could I turn her down. Hah! So after seeing guardian angel to her work made my way to her estate. We were already late for our morning session. 15mins to 11am & I had just arrived to pick her up. Ghosted through the roads & expressway and reached shenton way just 1 min past 11. I thought to myself WOW. I'm good haha. If only I knew.

Earlier I mentioned that I saw it coming. This is upon reflection of course. The day before, my bike, Rose no.2, was all clean, polished & waxed to a wonderful showroom shine when out of my stupidity I lost control of my bike in the CARPARK, and dropped it. Damn!

So today as I approached where I usually parked, I thought with the dark clouds in mind, why not park at the multi story carpark. All safe indoors. Would protect my showroom shine. I wished I'd stick to routine sometimes. Stupidly as I made my way up the steep wounding slope, I went...ah ah ah...

It was less then 20kmh, how did I lose control of the bike ?? I slammed sideways into the wall as the bike was falling like timber to the ground. =( *ke-che-piang* All the glass shattered. Miss hourglass was quick to pick herself up. Me ? I was stuck in an awkward position. Maintaining control of the situation, picked up the bike & parked it first before doing damage assesment. =(

For Rose no2., I'll just let the photos do the talking -(



I was lucky she was ok. I wouldn't know how'd to explain if she was hurt badly. Just some burnt skin & a traumatised brain. Heh. My left knee though felt like popping out. I just brushed the pain aside thinking it was nothing.

After morning activites were done, I excused myself to repair my bike. Only at the workshop did I realise the full extent of a 20km/h damage. My cowling bracket had broken into 2. It was metal btw!! The left portion of the cowling had chipped off so that need to be re-fibred. Part of the left joint had come off, that needs to be changed. Oh the thing I'm holding in my hand is my digital meter btw, It had broken off from the bracket =( Luckily not damaged bad, still usable so just changed the back casing. The front brake fluid holder had burst & of course I need to change the smoke screen. Wahhhhhh 500+ I was quoted. Shit all for 20kmh. Sigh.

So now I'm without a bike until min sat, latest monday. Oh well back to public transport. As I walked back home from the workshop (it was in kaki bukit, so less then 1 km) I felt guilty for traumatising miss hourglass with this incident, so I gave her a call to apologise. Cant remember if I did already but just did again anyway. Luckily shes okay, & shes speechless about the incident btw. Oh the walking back home hurt alot! My hips started to sore. Felt like they were going to dislocate, again. & this time the left side as well. My left knee still feels like popping out, though the right knee is the one with the ligament tear. Not sure if I should visit a doctor. The left knee is all swollen & red now. sigh =(

This had made me thinking. Why do all my road accidents happen when I'm riding slowly!!! But Alhamdulillah. If 20kmh did that damage wonder what higher speeds that I reached during the journey to shenton way would have incurred. Btw, feeling optimistic, I thought better accident today when I'm slow rather then when Im in Pasir Gudang track on the 29th.

Blessings in Disguise. Things happen for a reason.

Oh miss hourglass, If you do read this, I apologise once again. Make sure still go riding with me when my bikes out yar *grins*

Oh guardian angel, see you got what you asked for. I'm not with my R1 kan. Be careful what you wish for...or maybe its a sign to ask your dad to allow me to ride his brand new R1 06 *grins*

Blessings in Disguise. Things happen for a reason.


I noticed...that this is my 50th blog entry *sprays confetti*

But its not all wonderful...so much for the ball rolling. Ha! For starters let me re-assure you all I'm not in a sudden low again. Ha! they say a picture speaks a thousand words. Let me show you 3, then maybe you'll understand my pain.


See how damaged my Nokia3230 is. Damn!
Ahhh now maybe some of can understand. So much for rolling ball. Ha!

To summarize, I didn't get much eating today. 5pm was postponed to 6 and then cancelled. 9pm + was ermm lets just say other priorites popped up for that particular person. So there I was already outside with no one beside me. I could have easily chose to wallow in self pity. I did, abit but abit is good. Haha then I made my way to various places just to take scenic shot with my Nokia hp =(

I finally managed to get someone to meet me nearly midnight & I ate. Thanx dear miss hourglass. She told me she didn't like to read my blog cause it was too depressing, so she won't know that I call her miss hourglass *chuckles* So we ate McDonalds at Boat Quay and caught up & discussed about ol times. Always great & a pleasure to be with her. Gave me back some inspiration. She just pointed 1 main thing through out the whole meal, for me to move forward.

So I sent her back home after the meal, & made my way back. Disaster struck when I was cruising on the TPE. I was wearing my waist pouch today and had put the hp in the side pocket. At 120km/h and around woodlands, I felt a strange & weird feeling. I glanced my side mirror & saw my helmet bag string dangling. Then suddenly something dropped from the pouch onto my lap & *dissapeared* into the night road.

Only after a few seconds did I realised IT WAS MY HP!!! By the time I stopped I was at least 200m away from the place I dropped it. I tried to search it but it was dark at 2am. I only managed to find my main hp body. Well whats left of it anyway. You can see the pics above =( I lost the back casing, the battery & most importantly my 512Mb memory card. Theres 300MB worth of info in there. All the pics, vids and songs inside =( All the memory lost like that. The greatest part, is when I'm home, trying to restart the Nokia3230 with my sis' batt. It couldnt be started. So all the contacts are also gone :( Gotta go to Nokia service centre, I know they have a way to retrieve the data from the phone internal memory. All my contacts.

Sigh* miss hourglass told me online just now. Isn't that what you wanted. (rather you wanted ha!) to move forward. So now since all the memories have been "erased" I can only move forward. Blessings in Disguise she said. Things happen for a reason she said. Oh well. I'm definietly going to buy a new hp. Now have to ponder what model to get. Any ideas ??

I feel its a lil wasted the money for the hp. Luckily its not my brand new Motorola L7. If not I'll be even more sad. But I'll make sure I earn back that money!! You'll see. For tomorrow I will embark on continuing my lost journey. I will return, slowly but surely to sail to my dream.

Anyway this returned & rejuvenated me thinks all is not lost. Hey I'm optimistic again *smurks* At least of all the scenic shots that were lost at my Nokia, I did take some on my L7 just now. Enjoy my optimistic loneliness...haha

From my Nokia3230 =(




& from my Motorola L7