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Ridak & his RollerCoaster
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Friday, December 29, 2006

I was so wasted on thursday. What came over me. What with the silly idea of having a McDonalds breakfast at 4+am on a thursday morning. Only to reach home 1/4 to 6am, knowing that I would be working on the Friday. Oh my..oh my...

Oh...it was because it was Sgt Hotstuff's birthday! He is finally 24! Haha. Our whole gang is finally 24! but just a few days down the corner and the bouncer would turn a 1/4 century. My oh my. My click is now going to be a 1/4 of a century old. Wahaha.

For the record, I had fought on hard to try to stay awake to go to work on Friday. Haha. In the end, I woke just in time for Friday prayers. Hah. Lucky got leave to burn ;P

Now on a Friday night, still feeling blurry eyed, I guess I will make my way out. Only God knows what time I will be back. Hehehe.

Oh and I have to start to think about new years resolution. Haha ;P

when darkness turns to light @ 10:17 pm
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Thursday, December 28, 2006
blabbering update

I have been staring at the blogger new entry post page for days and ends, just staring into oblivion, finding it so hard to update. The urge in me to update is liken to a fire thats running out of firewood. The passion in me to write down my thoughts is no longer burning as brightly. I aint quite sure why!

I look at my tagboard. It seems to be active, with friends chipping in their encouragements. Thank you people. I have the urge to so so talk back on some of the tags, heh but I just cant seem to even tag back properly. Something is definitely wrong with me.

Its only a few days left to 2007. I re-read my whole December posts and I shake my head thinking about how I wanted to so much reach my target in that early days of December. Alas though, its what I have always come to encounter. The punturing of spirit combined with problems that pile up.

This post seems random. Cause I dont have a general theme for what I want to write today, unlike for which I normally do for all my posts. This just seems to be blabbering to the nonsensical sense. Complaints even maybe ?

1 thing that I feel right now is the feeling of being out of love. Ha!

I watched Love Actually on Xmas eve was it ? I also had watched The Holiday. I so so felt out of love. Hah. With the kind words from ms.secretary, its not that I dont want to move on. I already had set my sights on moving on somewhere in the middle of november. It is always & I mean always easier said then done. No matter how much of a brave front we potray to people, it will hit us back. The bigger the pleasent picture we paint, the more suffering it seems we will clash head on when pile stacks down.

Feeling physically sick doesnt help much either. Every 2-3 days, my nose will be a leaking tap. I cant control it. Argh. It really is sucky when you have certain aspects of your life which you cant control.

Oh oh...I heard this profound phrase the other day.

When you cant control your time, you can never control your life.

I was nodding my head in agreement so much when I heard this. Is it because I cant control my time that I dont seem to be able to steer my life on a 1 true course ?? Maybe yah...

For the past few days, my life has been just shaking past me with such mighty gusto. I couldnt seem to have been able to hold to any key events of the past few days well. Hah. Anyway, I managed to catch a Night at the Museum last night with 2 guys from the Tengah Clan. Hah. So reminiscent of my poly 3rd year days slacking between LT17 & LT18, not to mention foodcourt4.

Theres a phrase from A Night at the Museum which I think I had written down in one my earliest post before. Its something to do with how we learn from the past rich history to make the best of the future. Ironic uh how I could have written that many months ago yet I still make the same old mistakes over and over again. Geee....

If I never am able to post up another post before the end of the year, heres to the cheer, joy and experience 2006 has taught me!

To all muslims, wishing you all Salam Aidiladha. Maaf zahir dan batin.

Somehow after I wrote those lines, I have a feeling I will definitely put in a post or 2 before the new year. Hehe....

when darkness turns to light @ 3:11 pm
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Sunday, December 24, 2006
Xmas eve of 2002

If anything was to go by the sequence of events lately, it shouldn't come at this junction of time.

The lonely nights spent waiting for the rain to stop. The lonely nights whereby one sits at home too many times. The serenity that the environment provides creates an atmosphere that just clouds the brain from thinking sunshine thoughts.

For a brief albeit period, I had thought that I was done with sappy posts and entries. For they had really dried up alot ever since the heartbreak and turmoil was mostly cleared up. Time and situations though will almost always change it. In retrospect, thinking about the future doesnt help as much as does then when we shouldnt think about the past.

& so the lovely date presides all. The rain just poured today not enabling me to go out far. Well actually I can go out but which girl wants to pillion in this dready weather.

Oct 24th was the first time I said hi.

Dec 24th was the first time my eyes set upon the beauty that exouded from her. It has been 4 years since I first met her. Our very first date. Heh.

But I've learnt not to dwell nor speak to much from such good events. Let me just keep them in check within my memory walls and just let me enjoy them till any new events will be stored as lovely memories of the future. It has been a truly roller coaster ride this past 4 years.

1 year ago, if I am not mistaken, I think I spent this date with her. We were still okay.

Its been a great ride. Just got to keep on searching for the better ride now. The more permenant ride.

when darkness turns to light @ 8:12 pm
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Thursday, December 21, 2006
losing tiredness & weight

- How is it that one can get so tired just from being pelted by rain ? -

I have an online friend that told me something that went, "I want to meet the zamry from 3years ago." Blah Blah Blah & something else that meant, "you were cute & macho. Now you da gain weight eh!"

Bah!

I've resorted to cutting down on meal intake or cutting out the whole meal altogether. Proteins are okay. Chicken, beef or fish. Carbs are out definitely. Im trying not to take to much rice or noodles. Heck, lets just cut them out. Bread is okay but only in the morning. This has been going on since Monday. I'm feeling the tired effects already but my tummy still seems to be bulging out. Bleargh!

So it isnt the rain. But really I am really tired and my body is weary from riding in the rain. Oh because of the rain, the dates have dried up. Hah. Which girl in the right frame of mind wants to go out riding with a guy on a wet stormy night, right ?

Let me just cut down the intakes before I resume my excercise regime & on the way to getting my body back to fitness. I miss my V-shape body. Hah! Now its a V with love handles that bulge out. Fugly! Common! Lets get back to fitness in time for the Federation's calling!!!

Oh btw mr.K silantra, bestie = best friend

when darkness turns to light @ 3:45 pm
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Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Insignificant...right ?

In all that downpour, as I stood waiting for the green man to signify our safety to cross, a familiar figure shadowed behind me under an umbrella. Its been a few times since I bumped into her lately. Normally its just a hi-bye kinda thing, with maybe the how are yu's. It was always walking past each other so it was never a long chat. The longest lines was probably, "your hair is so long now." And that was the momentary brief moment both of us weren't actually walking.

The figure under the umbrella was her bestie. I already had noticed her during the couple of times I saw her that she had changed. More physical change than anything else that I knew of. We exhanged brief words & I could only comment on how she had changed. As were walking along, I just couldnt resist and let out a how is she?

She is fine, as I was told. But at the very instant that we were going in 2 different directions, her bestie had to tell me shes coming back in January....for a holiday in Singapore. Gee!!!

Thats insignificant right ? right ? right ?

Just rattled me off my very balanced beam for a moment, or two.

Add that with riding in the rain - NO! Heavy rain! riding in terrible weather, which does improve and makes you appriciate the bike more, for 2 days straight and the above mentioned incident really wobbled me down, tumbling into Jenggo stacks. And I couldnt explain it. Hah.

& now the sun is out. Rather it was out a few hours ago. Albeit a brief shower, the sunny day was quite alright as it dried me off my emotions too. The sun though just couldnt fix the leaking tap found in my nose today. Got to call the plumber soon...

*sniff*sniff*

Insignificant or Ignorance ?
Lets just leave it at insignificant ;)

& off we stroll along now...

when darkness turns to light @ 9:34 pm
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Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Rain Rain go away...

I dont really like riding in the rain. No matter how much... speed, power, torque & acceleration are nothing withou control. No doubt, the R1 boasts one of the best controls ou can ever find in a bike. All of that though is insignificant even to a Ducati when its pouring cats and dogs. The rain just lets you have no control.

Oh before I continue. I read my previous post. What atrocity! So many damn typos and grammatical errors. I must have been damn bored and sleepy at work when I typed that entry. Gee!!!

I dont like riding in the rain.

A mentor took the oppurtunity to remind me. I knew spot on exactly what he was going to say of course.

I dont like riding in the rain. I want my car!! I want my BMW 330 cabriolet!! I want!!

At times like these that you appriciate the finer side of 4 wheels. Heh.

I want my BMW!!!

not BMX ar...I had that before.

I was reminded of course, by the torrential rain, by the hassle of wearing squeaky waterproof boots all day, by lugging around the rain jacket, the hassle in wearing the rain jacket. I was certainly reminded. Its times like these that I certainly prefer a car.

Oh I dont like being on the road in the rain.
Bleargh~

when darkness turns to light @ 12:16 am
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Monday, December 18, 2006

Its cold. Its chilly. Its freezing even to a certain extent.

The torrential monsoon is upon us. Its drenching those in sight with utter glee. From top to toe would we be soaked in water, if hadnt take cover of course. Some times, even when we take the best precaution, we are blown away by its strong winds and ulitmately the best 2nd skins that we have to protect us from being wet still end up making us wet.

The monsoon is season is just a periodic moment in a year. Every one expects it yet all will always complain about the miserable weather they encounter.

To me, its like how we handle life & love. We would certainly face patches of uncertainty and also definitely face periods of wetness in life & love. When we are so drenched and soaked, we can only some times continue in the journey till we are finally dry.

If we are lucky to not have been wet, we would take cover from the downpour, under a bridge maybe ? or it could be under the comfortable wings of a 3rd party. We will just wait it all out and when its dry enough, we would just run back to where we were heading with angst.

Then we would just blow our tops off with lightning & thunder that we caught from the storm the presided us. All in just a valiant attempt to heat ourselves us back to our normal body temperature.

...

The chills have been killing my body.
I cant stand the pain no more.
Its really hurting me.
An internal pain that only those who are similar to me would understand.

Just as how I had evaded the storms of late,
Just let me evade the painful bodily pains.
Dont blow caution to the wind.
Dont let me suffer in icy cold frosts.

I just cant explain something well no more.

Stop the monsoon & the bodily pains will stop.

when darkness turns to light @ 4:14 pm
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Friday, December 15, 2006
Friday night boredness

I am so damn bored.

All my single female friends suddenly have problem returning my smses. Ha! Except for a notable few of course. Still... I am at home with no plans at this hour. Well, I chose it to be this way today. I could have been sharpening my hosting skills at the dream creator company but I declined today. Didnt feel like it & I know I wouldnt be able to give off my best. Anyway I was suddenly pulled, today, into facilitating my department's team building day, 2nd week next year. Gee! What an oppurtunity to hone and let free my shining lights of...*ermm I cant find the word* Hah. The important thing is, my department director will be there, my site director will be there. Here's my chance to ensure I book a place after my contract ends. Hah!

K, back to boredom.

It got to the verge, my boredness & patience, that I started to cam whore with my N73.

Have a look see yar. Suddenly today Im going all picturistque.




Apa, muka macam gini pun susah nak dapat date ke on Friday night ? Haha.

Oh can you actually believe it. I'm the only one at home this Friday night. A guy alone at home. The rest are all out! Bleargh! Common clock, tick tock your way to 11pm in a jiffy k.

Bah! Meeting the dunmanites later at simpang. Its going to be a large crowd tonight I heard. Mr.Teacher, make sure you're not late! ;P

when darkness turns to light @ 9:09 pm
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friday scrolling

Th 13th of the month already slipped by just like that without me noticing.
Its no longer a surprise to me that it slipped off me mind.
Bah! What the heck...

now to find a date for friday night
*scrolls handphone*

when darkness turns to light @ 8:04 pm
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words from a picture



Like a wavering wand that dispells out enchanments,
my twichy fingers just twirls and swirls.
The words that flow ever seemingly through,
potrays a picture a 1001 words eiy?

So what words say you ?

when darkness turns to light @ 4:44 pm
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Thursday, December 14, 2006
moving along with the ironies

It was a whole-ly well rested day. My body seemed to had break down together with my pocket, after Rose's spending spree on Tuesday night. Heh. Truely, I dare to say that it was more of a malas nak pergi kerja case, as I had actually woken up at 6+ feeling only slightly sick. That slightly sick feeling led me to try to sneak in a couple more winks. Next thing I knew, the sun was up and bright, of course. Hah. Luckily though, the body did have enough sick symptoms for the Doctor to give me a day's off. Either that or I truly am a great pretender.

Oh I sort of complained to my doctor as well, regarding my dramatic weight increased for the past 3 months. It still hasnt come down :( & as of yesterday, at the clinic, I was tipping the scales at 62.5kg. The doctor looked at my bulging tummy and she still could say, "you're not fat yet." Bleargh. Keyword people, "YET." She just advised me to reduced my intake during meals, cause apparently my metabolism has slowed down. Hmmm...

Just spent the day lazing around and sleeping mostly. It was a nice rest I must say especially in the middle of the week. Heh.

------------------------------

I have been re-reading my posts and understanding it in a different manner lately.

If you have noticed, I have changed slightly my style of writing. The language is still just normal, the grammar too. Its just the content is varying right now. It used to be that I only wrote of how I feel towards life, towards love and towards my inability to move on. Now if you had noticed...

It came somewhere in mid November. A sudden release and pffftt I went sky rocketing into another dimension that totally changed my style and contents of blog writing. I still had found my way to write in my old style but the frequency and regularity is just not the same no more. Its like...I have lost that fuel that was burning my heart to pour out in such a negative manner.

Remember that thing that I was thinking about for quite some time already ??

Yah. Maybe the reason why my perceptions had changed is due to the 'lack' of being lost in love. Hah. So damn ironic yah. I was getting to be better, improving if I dare say in my writing. Now the urge to write my heart out is different and fading. I write what my brains tell me more. I write with logical emotions. I write with restricted desires even. Very far fetched from the rather blunt waning heart that was crying over spilled milk.

Hmmm. I want to let it go yet at the same time I dont want to let it go.
Makes any sense ??

I want all that stupid emotions that was dragging my life down to fade away. Yesh I truly want that. I also want the free expressive heart that was penning his no-holds-barred lifestory and seeking redemptions from so called un-solvable emotional problems randomly at will, and at a rate of a whistling machine gun. & so...I have ironies and clashes within my small skull that protects my brain, and within strong ribs that protects my heart. Where they duel it out ? Where is the ring which they come upon together? Your guess is as good as mine.

Clash of the inner titans. Can both emerge out winners with me being the penultimate achiever ? InsyaAllah.

when darkness turns to light @ 2:22 pm
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Tuesday, December 12, 2006
True Comparison ?

Its a rough ride. Its much similar the 2. When you're so used to having it, you just feel so lost when it aint by your side. When you know that they could be depended on and you're suddenly on your own. Lost and engulfed in your own world. Crawling and struggling hard to get out of that temporary sandpit. Heh.

Love to me now is much similar like having a vehicle. For instance, my Rose no.2, my beloved R1. It is so much a part of me that I tend to forget that if not for Rose, alot of things would be impossible. I have also grown to be so dependant on her for transport that these few days of going public is just sheer torture and a devilish nightmare. Oh believe me, I am not the only rider/driver who feels the same. People whom I know always squirmish at the littlest thought that they would have to go public. We could go on and on about the negative parts when we had to go public again after a long absence.

Compare all of this to love. Rather being out of love. At that very instant, everything you did would feel empty. Why ? Because you were so used to the fact that there were always the 2 of you. Then when suddenly the other party walks out of your life, you just dont have anyone to turn to, to do those small lil things that you love sharing with each other. The dependancy suddenly cracked right through a fine wall mirror.

Therefore I am really relishing the thoughts that I would ride my Rose again. It would be the same as when I would find another half. Not now though, but surely when it arrives, I think I'd feel a pinch definitely. Heh.

Now to cover up the hole in my wallet left from Rose's spending. HaH ;P

when darkness turns to light @ 7:51 pm
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turning the leaf...

Its all very mixed up and jumbled. All far too complicated for this simplistic mind of mine. Even with a rush of answers that passed by, I couldnt catch it all, no not all of it. Not even some of it. I watched as the echoes to the answers of my problems were being screen before my very thoughts. As it kept on flashing and flickering upon these simple eyes, a simple tap of reminder upon my shoulder was all that was required to jolt me back to the life that is upon me. Welcome back to reality.

Welcome to the harsh and bickering world where only the ruthless will survive. Where you will constantly sit upon your regular throngs of lunch hour crowd, and upon the same tables that you normally reside, all of you would just bitch and complain on the atroscity of life and work. Begining with, "how was your weekend" is just a polite yet effective way of letting the floodgates open to the humongous amounts of complaining.

I am no different from these crowd of people. I would find out later in the day, that my pocket has been burnt with a hole so huge, I can put my whole arm through. The buffer that was sitting there comfortably just before Raya is now just a layer of small crisps notes that are soon to be burnt up as well.

The only difference that I can find in myself from the mundane routine that I trek upon is the adventurous 2nd life I lead as a secret superhero, a double agent, or what not wonderful character that would pounce out of a comic called 'Death Not.' Heh. The only theme song that I can find which alters my life is when my cell blares ever so softly in my pants the call of the man with his famous red undies. The guy called Superman, or otherwise now known as Ridak. Haha. By day, he lives a boring life. Acting Busy every minute in his plant, in front of his laptop pretending that hes ensuring all the medication in the warehouse would be able to be migrated into the new system. By night, he leads a superb life ensuring that no one would need medicine. He tries his very best that people would lead a healthy and rewarding life. Living not in fear of sickness and being able to live life fully to the max.

Haha. Just what am I blabbering about! Thats quite a load of my chest. The session just now with the bermuda gang was refreshing with a great different activity. Neighbourly exchanges are great as well and certainly helps much release of stress. Hah. Just what am I blabbering about!

You go figure k. Get back to me with an answer if you can (",)

when darkness turns to light @ 12:55 am
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Monday, December 11, 2006
Public Woes

I'm going to mention this again. Public transport is so urgh! Taking the train from Tampines to Boon Lay is no joke man. Its tiring and damn expensive! Hah. I was supposed to have taken the company transport somewhere infront of blk245. After the stipulated time the bus was supposed to arrived, it was still not there. I made a call to my friend who would be taking the same bus but much further down the route. He advised me to take the train, as the timing was already nearly for the bus to arrive at his destination. Gee...

As I boarded the train, I rang my friend whos talking the transport at Jurong East. I was hoping I could intercept it. I calculated, I should have gotten on it. Sadly though, my handphone beeped with the text message,"we are leaving already" just as the train left clementi. Thats just 1 more stop and I could not be in time to intercept it. Bahhh.

What a way to start the day. All the way till the final destination. Heh. Boon Lay was where I had to take a TAXI, as...if I had chosen SBS, I would definitely be caught in the dreaded Tuas jam. Oh the taxi ride that was so so short but so so long, cost slightly short of $10. Walauwe...from Boonlay to Tuas pun cost 10 bucks. That 10 bucks would have easily given me the petrol for the journey from Tamp to Tuas 3 times!!! K make that 2 1/2 times. But still!! GrRr....why did you people vote for PAP that time. Kan Pay & Pay. Haha. oppppsssss....

Yah, thats all I wana complain about. Haha. That thing in my mind, its still there but I havent found the correct words to put it into a post. Believe me I tried...Oh well, 1 more hour to Acting Busy ;)

Oh..Oh...Happy Birthday dear Guardian Angel. You didnt get your birthday wish yesterday, nor did you get it this morning. Seems like though, you could get it soon ;) Anything as long as you're happy k Guardian Angel.

when darkness turns to light @ 4:13 pm
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Sunday, December 10, 2006
biking blues

I don't know where to start. Hah.

1st-ly, I am not foh fular. Whatever that means la :P

So so many things running in my head right at this instance. Just got to sort them out and reorganize them systematically. Hmm..Wonder if it can be done here properly. I aint sure you know. Lets just start with...

:( Rose no.2 is in the workshop again. The battery is working fine now, but the previously flat battery probably had a negative effect on the rectifier. On a very packed and busy Saturday schedule, the bike just died on me in that intense noon heat. I was in Yishun busily running around that carpark trying to manually push start the bike. OMG what a strain! When I finally got it running, man were my legs wobbly. When I arrived to meet Dr.Amir the mechanic hehe, he was damn busy that afternoon that he couldnt prepare it in time by Saturday night.

Geeee, that washed away all my plans for Sunday 5 lap challenge in Pasir Gudang! Sayang betul suit Clover aku blum pakai2 ka track!!! That suit has been talking to me every single night for the past week on its dream to reach pasir gudang with me. Oh well. Blessings in Disguise. The gang that went up for the 5 lap challenge came back in different forms. 5zal got into a crash at the dreaded BMW corner and has cracked his brand new K7 ferrings. Walauwe. I was in tatters when I heard that. Wondering how he must be feeling. Popo's S4, I heard ran into mechanical failure and had to be towed back. Oh my, truly its a blessing in disguise, for if my bike had died in PG, my pocket wud have been burnt!!! not that it hasnt been burnt already. Haha!! This rectifier is damn expensive!! Argh!!!

K. thats just about Rose and the biking gang.

Going public for the past 2 days is really shitty. I really miss my own transport. Me and my BIG mouth la ni. Asking to take public...Ha! See what happens. What you utter is almost always what you get! Da slalu di ingat kan, "ucap ucap sahaja kata-kata yang baik."

Theres something that had poped into my mind with regards to what I was thinking about in my last few posts...Maybe I'll share it another time...Just maybe.

Now, I just got my sights set on ploughing through a dreaded Monday blues, especially since Im going public....erhhh. 2 days of going public really has made me realise. public transportation now is expensive!! I havent even got to taxi fare. GrRrRrR!!!

Monday blues...monday blues...
Heh this is pre-monday blues. Bleargh...

when darkness turns to light @ 9:53 pm
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Thursday, December 07, 2006
Robo-man tak cukup minyak

Robo-man definitely needs an oil change and tune up. Haha. Robo-man...rightttttt.

I pushed myself hard in the gym just now. Was really sweating it out and possibly over exerting my muscles, cause my left calf is definitely feeling the strain. Was still very much feeling fresh after a late wake up on thursday. I pushed and pushed until my body, mostly my calf and left hip said NO.

Not bad for someone who started 'REAL' excercising just a few weeks ago. I could get 2.4km in 15mins. Not bad. Not bad at all :P haha even though that timing would still fail the IPPT. Who cares about the IPPT anyway right ? since I dont need to take it anymore, currently. Haha.

Hmmm... I dont know where all this blabbering is going.

Hmmm...until I come up with why my mind and body is acting in this strange way...I dont think I can be my full self. Hmmm...oh well...

Its strange uh that how we push our bodies hard when our brains are not settled probably. Think about that ah.

Oh watching SuperNanny on the telly is sooo frustrating. Haha. Cause its so disturbing those kids characters. SATAN!!! hah.

Arhhh...before I blabber more merepek...lets just cut it here.

when darkness turns to light @ 9:26 pm
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Lethargic

Something is not quite right. I cant put an exact finger to it. Is it my body ? or what ? I cant make any clear justification why my body is so tired these 2 days. I just don't get it.

I got a rude shock when my mum stormed into my room at 830am this morning. What was I still doing cuddling my pillow at that hour. I should already have been in office Acting Busy. Haha. But really, a rude shock to my nervous system. Truly my mum can wake anyone up when she wants to. Haha. Like I've always mentioned it a thousand times, thats her occupational job hazard. You go figure.

By my standards, I slept rather early the night before. I knocked out before midnight. Thats way early considering the fact that I wasnt really tired. Hmm. I just cant put my finger to it.

Somethings not right with my body clock. Dont tell me that in the 3rd month of being an office hour personnel, my body still cant adjust from the permanent night shift I had been through. Really! I just cant figure it out.

Could it be some weird brain wave activity ?

I dont know already. 31st December is nearing and I am like so far away from my target. Got to upstart it. I am already executing it to my best. Not much talking or planning, just doing & executing. How am I supposed to get more out of myself when my body is lethargic and giving up on me ?

I need to let go some of the emotional stress that I have in my head. Maybe its been kept up there for too long already. No one that I can pour my rationalites to... Geeee!

Im already in the office, of course, after taking the morning off. My brain seems quite fresh, my body is aching! really now, why is it so...

Oh..oh...having metallic parts in your body during the monsoon doesnt hep much, of course. Maybe thats why...

If anyone has the answer to it, do point it out and show it to me yar. Thanks a million.

when darkness turns to light @ 2:33 pm
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Wednesday, December 06, 2006
the old & the new

Ever once in a while, you chance upon an oppurtunity to mingle amongst a whole new set of friends. People whom you have totally no direct link with except just 1 mere acquaintance. With open arms they comfortably accept your presence and after a few light hearted jokes, you seem to be able to blend into the crowd quite well.

It was very interesting especially that they were of a different 'timezone' from me, different backgrounds and quite different thinkings. Yet differences all aside, it didnt really matter. Light hearted mingling was fine. They were even comfortable enough to pour their hearts out in my presence. Not very surprisingly though, I was asked to pour my share of my heart.

My heart cringed abit, as my mind went into rewind trying to replay all those moments in my head. With a nice clean sweep, I somehow managed to pull it off, & into a nice fitting summary which I handled quite well. Its bitter sweet how I've managed to juggle the emotions well. The feeling did pop its head but...its all just a but.

She had taught me....& it went something like, " a but, just cancels everything in front of it"
& its nothing more then just a but now.

*small sigh*

Im unsure if its of relief or something else. It doesnt matter.

Then after meeting new people, it was nice to gel back to old kakis that you know. Be it even that some of them, actually I just know but they seem like friends for ages ;) & it was a great feeling leaving Simpang Bedok with the bikes that we have now. Its a totally different feeling then when we first started hanging out at Simpang with our small bikes. Even if there were 10 of us, small bikes don't really matter. It was just 6 just now and it felt gooooood ;)

I'll just leave my mind on that great thought. Heh & all the talk about tracks and our machines just make me so enthusiastic about Sunday's 5 lap challenge. *clasp hands together in glee* weEeEeEeEe....

K good night -_-

when darkness turns to light @ 1:11 am
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Tuesday, December 05, 2006
going public

Someone must have mentioned, "He's going public."
& they rolled out the finest goodies in store for display, all just for him to cleanse his eyes of the dirt that was picked up from work.
o0o0o he went in awe at all the wonderful selection on display when going public. Heh.

Really has been some time since I took public. It really was a fantastic journey, especially the Tampines crowd. Heh. It even got to a certain extent that my eyes were sore and pain from the near pop out it encountered on several occasions. Heh. Younglings were always be younglings, forever not noticing that threads on their body. Rather the lack of it, the trhread I mean ;)

The evening office crowd was not bad. Made me even thought about going public for awhile. Of course, I shooked my head up so hard at the very thought of not riding. Nehhh, public is nice. Lets just keep it to that cause going private is always great.

Rose was of course up and running by the time I alighted the bus. I could see it as soon as I was in y carpark. There it was, all of its beauty. With the turn of the key and the push of the ignition, Brm Brmmm Brmmmmmm went the sweet music Rose was singing into my ears. Hehe.

I was excited at the thought of riding back to work + also I was damn tired form the lack of sleep the night before that I was swooning like a baby by 10pm. Didnt even have the energy to log online yesterday. But I guessed that rest was a well deserved one.

Maybe someday I'll go public again. Not due to any bike failures, of course. Someday soon, a public I will go again ;)

when darkness turns to light @ 12:09 pm
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Monday, December 04, 2006
90km a day

I cant control my lazy eyes on this bluey monday. They are humongously heavy I tell you. It doesnt help much, that I only got to sleep at 4am this morning. And the superman theme song was blaring loudly at 615am waking me up to save the world. Blergh. So so tired.

Fortunate I was to still be able to wake up at 6. I had initially wanted to use the car, but mum veto-ed cause she needed it go to to school on her school holiday. Haha. Future teachers, dig that. You all need to go to school during school holidays ;p haha. No car but dad was good enough in a mood to send me all the way to Tuas. He actually checked how many kilometres it was. I had always gauged it to be 40km to...and 40km back, which totals 80km. The old man however clocked it at 44km to. So that would make a total of 90km of travelling every day for me. Woah. No wonder Rose is tired and her battery is flat. Haha. Dont worry Rose, I asked the old man to send you to Doctor Amir. Haha. He'll fix you up and that includes fixing my wallet down as well. Hah. Truly, got to work my ass off this month.

Still so sleepy and my tummy is rumbling already. Geee...how am I ever going to lose the weight. I am thinking much about the ride home, when I'll be taking a bus. Blearghhhh!

Public...heh. Oh well. Public pun Public larrrrr

when darkness turns to light @ 10:52 am
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Sleepily eventful

After 10 months of riding Rose no.2, the 1st problem ever she has given me came just now. Of all places...it was at a packed Singapore customs. Luckily it was already back in Singapore. Oh yah...of all the times...it was when I had a pillion behind me. Bleargh. Must have been all the stupid fantasies I had, and evil thoughts lingering at the back of my mind. Haha.

Oh. What actually happened was my battery died on me. So I couldnt start my Rose. Had to push it from the Immigration all the way to the Customs. Man...was it damn tiring pushing a 1000cc bike. Then...try push starting a 1000cc bike. Puts a damn strain on ur arms and legs. Geee. The bike did start. Thank God I arrived home safely (my pillion got home safe too la) when suddenly the bike just wont start. The batt went totally flat. Gee...money flows out againnnn.

-_-

Oh I'm so sleepy...

I am the source of inspiration for some people. Haha. Cause just by chatting and talking to me, they are able to finish their work which they have been procastinating on. Heh. And it all started with a simple sms of them needing a hug.

When I have the time, people will get my time. Its doesnt matter that I would be dead sleepy at work later you know. All it need is a good Swensens treat :) haha. Then, only then will you get your dunkin donuts *hint*hint*

Oh gee...I am completely forgetting I am going public tomorrow =/
I still am awake at such a time & still being a helpful person to people who need a shoulder to cry on, or just a listening ear, or rather an attentive eye when its online.

What is it again...? About... What goes around comes around ?!?

Heh...

It all starts with a good right step forward.

Qu-wata-Illah-billah-hil-aliyul-azim

when darkness turns to light @ 3:36 am
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Sunday, December 03, 2006
2:59am

What am I still doing up at 3am in the morning...& with no plans on this Saturday night/Sunday morning. Why am I still up ? Heh. Why cant I get to sleep...

Wondering, just wondering if maybe...

No more maybes. No more what ifs okay. Lets wake up to reality and lets hit our target. Jan 2007 is the aim, lets not miss the stipulated date. Shes already there. We already had a pact. Now I cant miss it. Shes already there. We cannot miss it.

on why I cant get to sleep at 3am in the morning!

when darkness turns to light @ 2:59 am
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Saturday, December 02, 2006
balancing the books

Its the 2nd of the month. Im doing my maths, or rather accounts. Somethings are just not tallying up. Heh. The last time I remember splurging like this was way back in May. November is another month that I have chalked up the digits near the red. Thank God for a fat paycheck. Thank God for the dream creator company. Thank God that I have a few pockets of "small" reserves. I glanced back at the figures and it really goes Woah!

November really is the month that the pendulum was swinging. It was swinging wildly just to bring me back to my feet again. =)

Lets now populate the numbers.

A brand new Nokia N73. No contract okay. Just the phone. Cause remember my lil mishap of 17 May with the dropped handphone on TPE. Heh. Oh wells. The handphone alone cost around $800.

Brand new legs for 'Rose no.2' Heh. Well new tyres for her to be precise. I got'em changed before the KL trip. Wouldnt want her to stop 'running half way tru th trip right ? Anyway she deserves it. After 5 sessions of Pasir Gudang burning her rubber and nearly 10 months of riding, a new set of wheels is what all she deserves. I got her the latest 2 compound tyres from Michelin. Suitable for road handling as well as track use. Its also easily controllable in road wet weather use. Heh. The Michelin Power 2CT tyres cost me more then $400.

My Kuala Lumpur trip. It was fun never the less but it certainly made me feel the pinch. Heh. Spent a total of around $400. Inclusive of hotel, bike petrol, shopping and miscellaneous. & I still had nearly RM200 in my wallet back in Singapore.

& if you all thought that it was over...

The immediate day after KL, I was out with the boys searching for that elusive piece of 2nd skin for the track. I had sold off my last suit cause it was a 2 piece set. 1 reason being I wanted to try a 1 piece, another was because I had already crashed in that 2 piece. Haha. Nak buang suay la katakan. So we scouted around...

Next thing I remember, haha, I am home with a 1 piece clover suit. Fully equipped with inner liner and back protector as well. Woah. What a rush. Luckily I didnt go for the 2k spidi kangaroo leather suit. Damn. Haha. Coolness spent at 1.2K.

Thats the major spending of November. Ish ish ish.

So now, Im just doing my accounts. I think I need to hire a personal accountant to do up my acconts proper. Anyone out there ? Heh.

With my limited accounting knowledge ( all 3 months of it in OI), think I have to really tie up my tummy for the whole of December and really work my ass off till the end of the year. I did say I wanted to lose off those excess lontong and rendang weights. Hehe ;) well this is my solution since Im very very near the red.

Ahhh...I need a sugar mummy. Heeeeeeeeee ;)

when darkness turns to light @ 5:07 pm
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Friday, December 01, 2006
Echoes of KL MenJerit

1st of the month is normally set aside to relax and soak in the quiet air of a new month. I am in that state too but I want to change it. I want to hasten up my pace for I cant waste too much time now. The last month of the year is already here and the achievements of 2006 as of now...

Still zip. None.

1 more month to make this year to be remembered, in terms of achievements.

2006 so far has great leisurely milestones. Melaka, Kuala Lumpur...1st track session @ Pasir Gudang. So I cant say that 2006 has been sucky. Its been good. I just want it to be better ;)

Heres to achieveing great things in the last month of 2006.

oh...I am not sure why but I aint feeling like documenting every aspect of my KL trip in words. Lets just simply let you people have pictures to view. For they say picture tells a thousand words.



Okay, these are just the pics from my cameras(digicam & handphone). I have yet to recieve the rest of the photos. Heh. Oh well...so how many thousand words have you all read from the pictures ;)

when darkness turns to light @ 10:02 am
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